* Ramblings of a hungry woman

Bon Temps!

2011-03-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

I grew up in Southern Louisiana. I am what is considered a Cajun, which means that my ancestors were once Acadian's who were exiled from Canada. My dad's side of the family only spoke French, just like everyone's family who lived in our small town. When my dad started going to school, all the teachers spoke French too. Then, when my dad was 10, the schools decided that students could no longer speak French in schools. The problem was, they didn't know how to speak English. Their parents did not speak English either. Did this deter the schools from slowly integrating English into their studies while still teaching them in French until the crossover could be made? No. They beat any student who spoke French at school. French was "bad". So my dad and his younger brothers and sister learned the language, while their parents only learned a little bit over the next 40 years. My dad's grandparents never learned English, although the both of them were still living, until I turned 30.

I remember being a little girl and my dad would tell us something in French sometimes, then have to repeat himself in English. We never learned French because my father learned that it was "bad" and in turn, he did not want his children learning the "bad" language. As an adult, I feel such a tremendous loss of my heritage and knowing that it has taken only one generation to kill the Cajun French language. My dad is only 58. He and his friends still speak French to each other but their children can only stand there and nod when we hear a familiar word here and there.

I guess this was all just on my mind this morning as I was fixing myself a cup of coffee and pouring in some milk and Splenda. And I just thought "Grandmere' used to make me cafe' au lait when I was a little girl". She used to make me what you'd call "coffee milk". It's more milk than coffee, with a lot of sugar. And I used to be able to sit at the table with the grownups who were drinking their coffee and they'd converse in French. I really miss my grandparents and always wished I'd have learned French so that when I was older and visiting them early in the mornings, that they wouldn't have to struggle through English to converse with me.

Who writes this stuff?

2011-03-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

I know many people write about their weight loss journey and about their food choices but I like writing about all sorts of things which eventually, if you think about it, really just leads back to what's going on and how it affects you and what you eat.

I'm sure I can go all Dr Seuss and say we eat when we are happy, and when we are sad. We eat when we are excited, and when we are mad. But................that's not what my blog is about today.

Today my blog is about unintelligible instructions or explanations that are given to us in written format as to explain what we need to do or what you can expect from something.

Confused yet? Yes well, example: Have you ever tried to do your own taxes and was like WTH are they talking about?

Well, today I tried to go through my dental handbook that is supposed to explain what's covered and what's not and the circumstances in which something that is normally covered, isn't and what might not normally be covered may be covered in "x" circumstance. Blah blah blah. And the services themselves? I didn't know what any word meant. I had to look up every word except "bitewing". I think the Dental Association and the IRS are in cohoots. I think I may go to H&R block and throw down my dental booklet and say "I need a routine cleaning and maybe a new filling, how much am I going to have to give?"

And while we are at it, I took a "comedic" defensive driving course the other day. It promised to be full of laughs, but lo and behold, they totally gypped me. I didn't laugh. The truth was, it was a class that sat you in a comedy club and gave you the standard state mandated info. There were no jokes told, there were no smiles cracked, only early 1990 videos that showed bad driving and bad clothes choices. Had I not been a teen/young adult during that time frame, maybe I would have laughed at the Koosh-ball-bang hairdo's but I could only cringe, remembering I have pictures that look just like that.

By the fourth hour I was fighting (as was the rest of the class) to stay awake. Six hours of hell that I could have done online, at home, in my PJ's while watching House of Payne.

Well folks, that is all for now. Don't get used to these long, drawn out paragraphs b/c I am normally short, sweet and to the point.

Lost Focus - Crazy Week and a Half

2011-02-17T14:22:00.000-08:00

Last week there was so much craziness happening that I got off track with my running. I got a call early Wednesday morning that my dad was taken from work to an ER b/c they thought he may have had a stroke. He was sitting in a meeting when he said he started to feel super hot and then he suddenly just passed out. They brought him to the hospital where they did a CAT scan on him and a doctor said he saw something that made him think it might be a stroke. A neurologist was called in and did not suspect it was a stroke. He was kept overnight for observation then went to his own doctor who did a series of tests and confirmed that he is a diabetic (which I suspected b/c I also used to "flush" and once passed out at work before being diagnosed with diabetes). I called my husband who took off from work and we waited to see if we'd have to make a trip to La. or not.

After that happened last Wednesday, on Monday my dad's younger brother had a massive heart attack. He is doing fine now but with all of that going on, I did not do any running or going to the gym. I was glued to my phone trying to find out what was going on. Now it's Thursday and things have settled down so tomorrow, I start Week 2 again (I should be finishing up week 3!) and will continue it through the end of next week so that I can keep up with the running program.

In other news, I have signed up for several classes at the local college library. I haven't worked in 4 yrs so I need to learn or be refreshed in Excel, PowerPoint and Publisher. I am also taking advantage of several Digital Photography classes. Who can pass up free?

Ab Solo.....Ow!

2011-02-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

Ab Solo is a machine used for medicine ball crunches. I use it frequently at the gym. You hook your feet in and there is a kind of basketball-ish type of contraption in front of you. You put two medicine balls on the return at the bottom then you start your crunch. The ball is held out in front of your chest arms fully extended as you lean back. When you are fully back you extend your arms above your head, and come back up. Halfway up you throw the ball into the top part of the machine and then reach and grab the next ball from the bottom. This is a continuous exercise. Depending how I feel, I either do these 1 set of 10 at a time or 1 set of 25 reps at a time, until I get to 50 reps. I do this each time I go to the gym b/c this isn't your average crunch. You are really working many areas here.

WELL.... I used a heavier medicine ball on Saturday and now my forearms and biceps are hurting! I mean, I had to use the heating pad and take Advil yesterday b/c of muscle soreness. I know it's soreness but it still hurts! Glad I don't have to do these again until Friday this week. Just going to have to break out the exercise ball and do my regular crunches this week. But if you ever get the opportunity, try the MBC's out.

Day 3, Run 2

2011-02-03T11:46:00.001-08:00

Today was my second run on the 10wks to 10k and I knocked 26 seconds off my mile. Yay! I am kinda hurting in the hip area but I know it's these darn extra pounds I am carrying that makes it hard to run like I want to. Drank a nice protein shake afterward. I can't eat raw fruits and veggies unless they are chopped up very fine or pureed so I threw in a half banana and a half cup of strawberries with a half cup of milk and Genisoy Protein powder. Knocked out my daily servings of fruit in one shot! I am feeling pretty good about this plan of building up my body for something. When I think "I am building my body up", it feels less stressful then thinking "I have to lose weight". My goal is to run 6.3 miles, not get into a size 4 or whatever. I want to feel the freedom of movement within me, again.

Day 1 of 10wks to 10k

2011-02-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

I am not sure why I am even blogging. 103 followers and not one comment on my last 3 blogs! Anyway, I am starting 10wks to a 10k program. Figured I'd blog about my progress.

Day 1 - brought my 19 min mile (walk/jog) to a 17 min (walk/jog) mile. Thinking this may not be as easy as I thought it would be. I know the athlete I once was, is still in there somewhere but it will be a little bit harder to dig out from under all this fat. Don't worry, she was looking at the display on the treadmill and screaming in my head "MOVE IT FATTY! We are going too SLOW!" I am thinking if I still can't jog the whole mile after the end of next week I will repeat week 2 until I can jog it without stopping. Weeks 3 and on will be too hard if I can't jog a mile by then. Well I am off, lots of things to do today. Au revoir!

New Year, New Gym

2011-01-29T21:16:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are both Army veterans and our local gym, which is owned by a veteran, offered a special for anyone who has served or is serving now. Six month free membership with all inclusive classes, tanning, one free trainer session per month. You don't need to fill out a contract, no membership fee, no monthly fee and no obligation at the end of 6 months. What a deal! We can go to any of their 3 local facilities. I am glad to have found this because my old gym membership ends at the end of February and I found them to be too expensive to renew my contract even though I do love their gym. Glad that my husband is on board too, b/c we both need to lose the poundage!

10 weeks to a 10k....I hope....

2011-01-27T13:37:00.001-08:00

I have been lazy ass'ing it for awhile now. I've used winter as an excuse to STOP exercising and basically sit with my chips while watching the shows "Heavy", "Biggest Loser", and "I Used to Be Fat". Yeah, I cheer them on but in the meantime I have been steadily putting back on the pounds. I have actually gained 8 lbs in the last 3 months. That adds on the weight I already have to lose.

So I found a plan in my Fitness magazine that says that it can get anyone in any shape ready for a 10k in 10 weeks.

****Ok went get the magazine and it says half marathon...pfffttt!*****

Anywho, I am going to build up to a 10k (6.2 miles) in the next 10 weeks. Then after that I'll decide if I'll do another 10 weeks to build up to a half marathon. I'll follow my nifty chart of days a week to jog/run starting on Tuesday of next week. I'll try and let you guys know, with a minimum of curse words, just how it feels. I am also hoping that it helps the belly fat go away since every trainer tells me MORE CARDIO to get rid of the stomach fat. Well I am off to start making my playlist for next week. TOODLES!

American Idol "I Was Crying"

2011-01-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

American Idol auditions tonight. Did you see it? O.M.G.! So normally I watch just to laugh at the crazy people because, you know, they didn't know you actually had to be able to sing to get on the show. Seriously, if you are thinking about going on the show, TAPE yourself and then LISTEN to it! I don't mean right away, I mean like GIVE it to a friend or coworker. And when you least expect it, they play it over the intercom at work or something. If you cringe and say "what the hell is that?" then you probably should not go on American Idol.

Anywho, there was a guy at the end with the most heart-wrenching story (because they are always the last audition of the day, notice that?) about his fiancee'. And I cried because it was so sad what happened to her but such a stand up thing for him to do by taking care of her and still loving her no matter what. And then if it didn't get sappy enough, THEY BROUGHT HER IN! OMG yes they did! Now tell me there wasn't a tear in your eye when you saw that?

So this season they gotta little bit crazy with Steven Tyler and a little bit of a pushover with J-Lo and well, dog, Randy is Randy. I might continue watching it even though I miss Simon but they still like to find that big ol' heartbreak story to hook you.

What does "Too Qualified" Mean?

2011-01-23T23:06:00.000-08:00

My job search continues. Apparently, no one will hire me because I am "too qualified". Does that mean I smell bad? Because seriously, I am bringing experience with me so how can one be too qualified for a job? I am not asking for much, and I'll work for you FOREVER and really I am only wanting to work b/c I am tired of being stuck in a house so should I dumb down my experience?

.....And Then......

2011-01-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

I got a letter from the HOA saying that I need to paint my shutters. Yeup, the hits just keep on rolling over here! Hey HOA, you seeing me waving to you out the window with the jacked up shutters? I am gesturing "You're number one", look it up.

On a side note, this weekend the hubby and I will be painting the shutters on front of our house and changing out our garbage disposal. I know he'd rather be lying in front of the TV after working 80 hours a week, but we are the dummies who thought owning our own home would be awesome.

For tonight, I decided that I don't feel like cooking, or cleaning so we are going eat somewhere tonight and hit up the theater. I love living in Houston where you can just walk out the door and be within 2 miles of everything!

2011 - How Grand It Isn't (so far)

2011-01-18T22:58:00.001-08:00

I started off 2011 with a lovely $170.00 speeding ticket, right on New Year's day. Nice. I also went on a job interview last Thursday. The manager was sneezing and coughing so I kept my hands and feet off of everything during the interview only to have her grasp my hand as I was leaving. I went straight to the nearest restroom and washed with lots of soap to no avail. I now have the flu. I started getting sick early Friday morning. And I didn't get the job. Tonight I saw water coming from under my kitchen sink. I took a peek and my garbage disposal has a huge crack down the front.

Lucky me. I am trying to keep positive but the little worm in the back of my brain keeps saying "Cursed, cursed, CURSED 2011 is!". God I wish I'd still drink.

Finger-tivley Numb

2010-10-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I went to my doctor b/c I have been suffering with numbness in two of my fingers and part of my hand. She says I am suffering from neuropathy and that I have some type of pinched or damaged nerve. Going back again next week to hopefully be able to see a specialist about this.

But what really freaked me out is when I got to the doctor's office the entire front of the building had VULTURES sitting on top of it. It was early in the morning so my brain wasn't fully functioning yet or I would have taken a picture to post here.

Oh, and my thyroid levels are on the high end of normal and are elevated from my previous tests so my doctor is waiting for this batch of labs to come back and she will probably start me on a low dose of thyroid medication.

So those are my woes for this week. Stay tuned for more madness next week.

Sleepless Nights, Good Books

2010-09-29T05:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, you all have to go out and read every memoir by Jennifer Lancaster. Hi-lar-ious! I promise you, you can turn to any random page in her books and laugh hysterically. She's a nut! I read 2 1/2 of her books in the last 24 hours. Now I have to go to my dr's appt this morning with no sleep. Yes, I really HAD to read her books because they were that funny and I had to know what was going to happen so I HAD to keep reading.

Decided at 6am this morning to go for a walk with my doggie around our side of the neighborhood. Because it was 50 degrees outside. Here. In Houston. It will be blindingly hot by 12pm but for now I am enjoying our little cold front.

My dog, Baby, 10 lbs. 1 lb doggie, 9 lbs urine. She peed on 150 mailboxes this morning. I think she needs an IV to replace her fluids. At least she doesn't have a fat ass (until real winter comes along).

That is all folks, carry on.

Job Hunting

2010-08-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

So I decided that it's time to leave the nest. I have been a stay at home wife and caretaker (on and off) for the last 4 yrs. I am ready to get out and do something and meet people and make some money. Although the money part is not the most important part, I guess it's still pretty important.

First off, I am 34 and have never ever worked in food service. It is also an area I am totally not interested in so, no food service work for me. Gas stations/ convenience stores stay open all night 7 days a week, not for me. Answering phones? Not for me. Nothing worse than dealing with an ass on the phone who thinks they can talk to you however they want because they aren't face to face with you. Customer service? Possibly I could be nice for a short amount of time. We'll keep this one on the short list. Computer skills not up to par, must take classes at the library on how to use Excel again. Would like to work anywhere with books. Would like to be the boss within say 12-18 months. Anyone hiring?

Train - If It's Love

2010-08-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

Busting My Bootie

2010-08-25T23:12:00.001-07:00

So I have not had the ideal Lap Band experience. I haven't lost the crazy amount of weight others have. I also got really lazy for a short time there. Yeah, I finally threw out my 5 lb bag of Reese Cups and decided to get my ass in gear.

So, the last 15 days I have been huffing and puffing and doing what I used to do best. Exercise. Yeah, first one to say "Pain is weakness leaving the body" gets throat chopped. Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain......you'll get what I am saying once you see how high a deductible on your medical insurance is. Meanwhile, you young people live it up because that wonderful body and metabolism and fitness comes without a guarantee.

So back to me. There I was tonight, in the dark, bouncing my fat ass around the neighborhood. Three mailboxes walk, three mailboxes jog! Wash, rinse, repeat! Do that for 3 miles and then come home and strip naked as the front door is closing because the humidity here in Houston is a bitch! My husband has walked 4 out of the last 5 days for about 20% of the time I have and yeah, he's lost 5 lbs. Lovely ain't it? I have lost 4 lbs in 8 days b/c I cardio, cardio, cardio.

Now before you think I am overdoing it, let me be clear. TONIGHT I did the 3 miles huffing and puffing around the neighborhood. I did it Monday night too. I am not killing myself everyday doing this. I normally do 30 minutes of walk/jogging on my treadmill. At the same speed. In the A/C.

Getting out and really tearing it up (or turtle'ing it up b/c I am really slow!) has reminded me of how much I really enjoyed running and how in control I am when I am doing it. I may have a little bit of achy calves and ankles when I am done but the feeling of "Hell Yeah! Take that McFatty, I am still the bomb diggity" really does feel good.

Oh, I also had my band loosened this past week and had to add 400 more calories to my diet b/c the doctor said I wasn't getting enough calories (and that 700 Reese calories did not count). So I definitely do feel better now that I am eating more (good stuff people, I am eating good stuff) and exercising and seeing the hubby do his small part to "support" me. He actually needs this just as much as I do as we each gained about 60+ lbs in the last 6 yrs of being married.

So I just wanted to put it out there that even though I lost and maintained my weight loss, I didn't do everything I was supposed to be doing and now that my 1 yr Lap Band anniversary has come, I am not at my 1 year goal weight. But by God I will do it people, even if it takes another darn year!

Hello, it's me again.

2010-08-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

This is a link to my blog on SparkPeople: Hello, it's me again.

It's the little things.......that piss me off!

2010-07-30T01:33:00.000-07:00

STOP signs and red lights........NOT a suggestion.

If your kid is 3 and in diapers and tells YOU that they need to go potty, don't tell them to "do it in your diaper". That is just LAZY ASS parenting. Even the 3yr old knows that!

If you come spend 3 days in my home, look away from your IPhone at least once. Seriously. Just once. And take your dirty dishes off my table and bring them to the sink, I got it after that. Really.

Everyone lives tight these days. Some more than most. I am a penny pincher, we live off one income in this home. We are not the bank. Unless you are going to give me collateral of equal value (kids not accepted), we have no money to "give" you.

Don't tell me about your infidelities to your spouse. I don't condone but you are a grown ass person. When your spouse kicks you out, you cannot live here and yeah "I TOLD YOU SO!"

Friendship works both ways. You bitch, I listen. I bitch, you listen. So? When are you going to let me have my turn?

School starts soon. Yay! It may cost parents a fortune but in the end, 40 hours a week is a nice break for you. And for me too, even though I have no kids, because YOUR kids are not skateboarding in the middle of my street now. I will gladly provide each of you with a free notebook, just for the peace and quiet.

Skinny bitches, quit telling me your fat. You are the size of my leg, and let me tell you, I have awesome legs under a fat stomach. They are beautiful and shapely and you are still smaller than them so STFU already. Why? Because I am grouchy b/c I am hungry and you are eating a whole pizza that weighs more than you and you will probably lose 2 lbs from using all that energy to hold it up to your mouth yet you are so fat you are in a size 0. You know, the size that is so big it shouldn't even exist right? Wow, sorry that rant just kinda hit me from nowhere about skinny people......anywho......

Well that's the things that piss me off for today. Tomorrow is a whole other story.

My Pouch

2010-07-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

So, I lost about 40 lbs this past year with my Lap Band. It hasn't been easy and I have gone weeks/months weighing the same weight and struggling not to gain. My friend Jenn asked this weekend what its like when I eat. As in, how does it feel. I told her that I can feel just about every bite pass through the band about a minute or two after I swallow. It keeps me from taking more than one bite at a time b/c I know I'll just puke it up if I eat too fast but that doesn't mean that my hunger ever goes away. I am just being real for those out there that want to have weight loss surgery. It's still a struggle. I met up with a friend I went to high school with who went from skinny minny to 380 lbs in the last 10 yrs. She had WLS last year and she is down to about 320 now. She told me that she has rough days because she has found a way to cheat and eat a lot. She says she wishes she had the band so it can be tightened to where she could not eat so much. This is what I told her:

The Lap Band makes a pouch. I think of my pouch as a little coin purse that can only fit a dollar in change. Some days I can fit 100 pennies and some days I can only fit 4 quarters. It's not easy and it's not exact. You have to be careful and watch your diet. I am still not where I want to be at but it is because I don't exercise as regularly as I should. I don't know why I dread the exercise b/c I used to love to workout. Being fat makes it different. I may not be huge anymore but I am still uncomfortable with my jiggle in the gym. That is my mental cross to bear for now.

So if you are following my blog or anyone else's blog and think "Wow, they took an easy way out" or "I should get WLS because it would be so easy to lose the weight" be forewarned that it's a tool, just like a treadmill, to lose weight. It's not instant, it's not 100% foolproof and it's NOT easy.

I ....

2010-06-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

will do it. It is going to be hard but I will do it.

Need to just get over it

2010-06-04T15:54:00.001-07:00

Well I got sick and then got out of the habit of working out, slacked off for two months and then wondered why my scale kept creeping up. Blood sugar went outta whack and the cholesterol slowly got higher and somehow, of my accord, I am back in a bad place. So, this week I have buckled down and started trying to get back in a routine. Jogging/walking, lifting weights, doing abdominal exercises. It's hurting but I have got to do something.

I was running (yes, RUNNING) on the treadmill today when I had a revelation that just hit me outta nowhere. I am going to be 40 in 5.5 yrs. I need to make my body healthy. I need to do it now. There is no more tomorrow if I can't do it today. It sucks. I feel like I have no support system whatsoever. I live far away from my friends and family. I had my stomach cut open, a device put in me and I keep thinking "what the hell is wrong with me? why can I not do this? don't I deserve to do this for me? why do I resent me for making myself do the right thing? why doesn't it feel good to push my body, anymore? when will the real issues that are holding me back, present itself to me so I can just freaking GET OVER IT!?"

So that is my rant for today. Oh yeah, added oatmeal to my diet. Have never eaten it before and it is disgusting. I almost rather eat beets...........almost.

Ready, Set...........Now what?

2010-06-01T10:02:00.001-07:00

Ok, dressed for the gym and also packed a bag to shower at the gym. I hate packing to shower at the gym b/c I have no clue what to bring and what the heck could I be forgetting.

For those of you who shower and change at the gym, what do you bring?

What will it take?

2010-05-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor this past Thursday because my blood glucose levels had started rising again since surgery. I also have not lost a pound in 3 mths. I haven't gained a pound either but I want to lose more weight!

My doc did the blood work and my triglycerides and cholesterol are back up so she recommended that I try BioSlim. BioSlim is a powder made up of 5 different types of fiber and vitamins. You mix it in liquid and drink it 10 minutes before you eat and you will stay full longer, or in my case, with a LapBand, not be hungry b/c that stuff is THICK!

By the way, it isn't pleasant to drink either. It's not disgusting or gross, it's just.......unpleasant. It thickens water, or tea, or milk or orange juice to the consistency of gravy. It takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to drink 8-10oz b/c of my LapBand. Oh, and if you ever decide to go this route, I hope you don't work. Did I mention there are FIVE different kinds of FIBER in this? Yes people, it makes you poop.

I lost 4 lbs the first day but that has been it. It's been about 6 days now and I have to admit, my blood glucose levels have gone down significantly. Bio Slim was made to lower cholesterol, one of the side effects is weight loss ...if you are lucky. I will definitly stick it out for the month and let my doc do bloodwork again to see if it works. If it does, I will do one more month of it.

I have always been a cheap person when it comes to grocery shopping or just shopping in general. I know that we live off of one income and I do what I can to make sure that we aren't hurting at the end of each pay period but I have decided that I can do more. Tomorrow I am going to Kroger to get a Kroger card so that I can shop there on double coupon day only. I probably won't grocery shop for all my groceries there but I may go get things like milk and eggs.

I am also going to start showering at the gym, starting tomorrow. Why spend my money on a membership and not take full advantage, right? My electricity bill went up $30 already since last month so I will be trying to find little places to cut costs.

I am thinking of taking a sewing class at Hobby Lobby. Has anyone ever taken a class at Hobby Lobby? Are they well taught? I went on a buying spree with Simplicity patterns last year when they were on sale for .20c for any Simplicity pattern. I bought like 50 of them and now I want to learn to sew.

Well, that is all for now, I am off to climb in bed and try to get some shuteye so I can hit the gym in the morning and then off to the library.

Grrrr!!

2010-05-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching Obama give his little speech on the oil spill. He says it is "unfair" what the Louisiana people are saying about him but he understands because people grew up and "fished" in the waterways and don't want to see them that way.

Well, I think, "Mr President" that it is VERY fair that they are upset and expect you to do something because they didn't grow up "fishing" in the water, they make their livelihood on the water. They also live along the waterways that have been polluted by BP so yeah, they expect you to get off your ass and hold people accountable!!!!!!

Too many thoughts on a Thursday Morning

2010-05-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

I am really digging this song on cmoursler's page, called :Airplanes by B.O.B and Hayley Williams and Eminem.

Watched so many finale's this week that I can't keep them straight. But then the thought "SUMMER TELEVISION" really depressed me. :::sigh:::

I am really sad that Saving Grace is in it's last season.

Wished that I didn't read so fast b/c it's hard to find books that satisfy me in between my 7 or 8 fav author's new releases. Yes, I really do read that fast. I read 3 books on Tuesday.

I am glad and sad that my husband's trip to Chile got postponed a few days. Glad b/c I hate when he is away from me but sad b/c I was going to go spend time with my girlfriends in Louisiana this weekend.

Once again, really thinking about writing a fantasy/horror/thriller kind of book but I have all these thoughts in my head and when I try to put it down on paper, it just goes away. Also, I read so much that I am afraid I might accidentally plagiarize something. Ah well, it was just a thought.

My brain doesn't function well at 4 am, after no sleep. I need to really work on that!

Is wondering when I will hear a woman finally say something to the effect of "he cheated/cursed/insulted/left/doesn't love me, so f%^k him, I'm good!" Instead of "how can I make him love me/accept me/appreciate me?" which I keep saying over and over "YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T MAKE ANYONE DO ANYTHING THEY DON'T WANT TO DO!" I just keep remembering when I was 20 and crying the same words and feeling like I was the person who was bad or wrong or not good enough. I don't feel like that and refuse to feel like that ever again and I want to shake the people in my life that keep telling me these things b/c I can't lie and can't encourage them to keep holding out hope that they can do something to make that person change.

I really need to stop posting when I am lacking sufficient amounts of sleep.

Something bugging me........

2010-05-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

Thursday night, I didn't watch Grey's Anatomy b/c my husband had to work late and we normally watch it together. So I DVR'd it while I played around online. Well, for the 2 hours it was on TV and the rest of the night, people on Facebook had to post a play by play of what was going on. Really? You are going to recap G.A. while it's playing on Tv and ruin it all for those of us who haven't watched it yet? Get a life people.

Also, I come from a very small town. I am tired of reading "OMG such and such just got in a wreck and they are dead". This happened last week before the young man's family was notified, but they had read about it on FACEBOOK! WTF? I have taken to chastising people and deleting the bastards off my friend's list. If something happens to one of my family members and one of these asses posts something before I am notified, they will rue the day they were born!

So, I am making a list of everyone who ruined Grey's Anatomy for me and I am going to post the ending of every movie I watch this year, on their Facebook page. By the way, I've had a couple glasses of wine as I write this but that doesn't mean I'm not serious. Be Forewarned people!

Back in the Saddle

2010-05-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

For the last month and a half, I've been sick/injured to where I couldn't work out. Well, I went to the doctor last Thursday and I had gained 12 lbs. As soon as I felt well enough this week to work out, I got back on the treadmill. Well the first day of working out was very slow. I mean, I walked on the treadmill VERY SLOW and did 100 crunches on my exercise ball. Got up the next morning and bam! 5 lbs gone. Now, that tells me that I have been holding on to water weight. Next day I walk on the treadmill again about .2 mph faster, 1 minute longer than the day before and this morning I wake up and I am down another pound. I think I am retaining water, no way my workout was the contributing factor in this weightloss b/c it was so minute (my-noot people!)and so slow that there is no way that I even burned more than 350 calories in those two days.

So what I am getting at is that, I am back to working out. I am not pushing it to the extreme, I am just going with what my body says and hopefully push a little more each day to build up endurance again.

And I just want to let you Lap Banders or other WLS peeps out there know that yes, you can gain the weight back. WLS is only a tool, you have to put the work into it. That is all for today as my abs are hurting from the crunches I did yesterday. I have never felt soreness from an ab workout before. I must be getting old. Take care!

Picture this!

2010-05-18T22:21:00.001-07:00

Me and my hubby, last Friday. I love him so much!

New Home Security System

2010-05-11T01:44:00.000-07:00

Well, got my security system hooked up. It even has a motion sensor. Wow, its like "Mission Impossible" over here. Get up in the middle of the night for some water, throw a hand full of baby powder in the air to see where the lazer is, do a couple of back flips into the kitchen and repeat the process to head back to bed.

Short note

2010-05-10T01:33:00.000-07:00

Half cup of Greek yogurt and a tbsp of honey taste just like whip cream. That is all. Carry on.

Door to Door Annoyance

2010-05-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

My husband is absolutely never allowed to answer the door ever,ever again. Every time he answers the door we have some new magazine subscription or 40 boxes of thin mints. Well, he answered the door on Thursday and guess what? Yeah we have someone coming tomorrow to install an alarm system in our home. F**K! Of course that means on Mother's Day, with my bad ass motherless self, I get to clean up our house from top to bottom b/c they will have to go into every room to make sure the connections on every window are working and yadda yadda. Oh and we get to pay another BILL every month! JOY!

Guess where he is? He had to sweep the dining room so now he is worn out and taking a nap. So........I will have to miss going to the gym tomorrow b/c they will show up sometime tomorrow during a normal workday and the appt normally takes 3 hours. So that means I will wait all day for them to show up at 5pm and then be in my house for 3 hours which means I am totally not cooking dinner (serves my husband right) and will be stuck eating sandwiches.

Gym and Food

2010-03-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

Went to the gym yesterday. It was weights day (boo!) and I really hate lifting weights. So I warmed up for 35 minutes on an elliptical then did my circuits of upper body weight machines. After I was done, I came home and prepared myself to cook this new recipe I found in The South Beach Diet Cookbook.

Before I start to type up the recipe, I just want you to know that I am on such a restricted diet and that this recipe fell within the nutritional needs of my diet. It is a tad bit bland. It's up to you whether you want to add to it or not.

Chicken and Eggplant Casserole

1 eggplant, peeled and cut into 12 slices
2 tbsp Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 lb boneless chicken breast chopped
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes
1 medium onion, chopped
1 large green bell pepper, chopped
1/2 cup mushrooms, sliced
3/4 tsp dried Italian seasoning
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 cup shredded reduced fat mozzerella cheese

Preheat broiler.
Arrange the eggplant slices in a single layer on a nonstick baking sheet. Mist the slices with cooking spray. Broil 4 inches from the heat for 2 minutes, or until golden. Turn the eggplant over and mist again. Sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese and garlic. Broil for 1 minute, or until golden. Set aside.
Heat a nonstick skillet with cooking spray over med-high heat for 1 minute. Add the chicken cook, stirring often, for 5 minutes, or until no longer pink. Add the tomatoes (with juice), onion, bell pepper, mushrooms, Italian seasoning and black pepper, stirring to break up the tomatoes. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
Preheat oven to 375.
Coat an 8" baking dish with cooking spray. Arrange 6 eggplant slices in the bottom of the dish. Top with the chicken mixture. Arrange the remaining 6 eggplant slices over the chicken. Sprinkle with the mozerella cheese. Cover with foil and finish cooking, or refridgerate until the next day. Or wrap with foil, label, and freeze up to 3 weeks.
Bake, covered, for 30 minutes or until heated through. To cook frozen casserole, bake, covered, at 375 F for 50 minutes, or until heated through.

Makes 4 servings.

Per serving:
205 cal
3g fat
1g sat fat
26g protein
19g carbs
6g dietary fiber
55mg cholesterol
395mg sodium

Dear Readers:

2010-03-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

As you all know, when you get a little older than 18, gravity starts taking hold and your boobies start to hang a little lower.

Well guess what? It happens to your butt too!

That is all.

Wonderful Weekend

2010-03-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

WWII plane from the airshow

The new motorcyle

All dressed up to go out.

Last weekend my husband and I bought a new motorcycle. He has always ridden motorcycles, since he was 14 but I am not the biggest fan of them. So we bought this really nice Kawasaki Vulcan and this weekend we decided to ride it over to the airshow which is like 2 miles from our house.

It was such a beautiful day that we decided afterwards to go ride for awhile north of Houston. I am hooked! We spent Sunday riding around too. It was great.

We also went "out" for the first time in years. We went to a comedy club then a country bar. A+ on the comedy.......country club, not so much. I am not a fan of country music to start with and just being in a smoky bar was like, ugh! I wasn't even home for 2 minutes before I stripped down and showered. Can't take the nasty smell. I guess I am getting old b/c bars are just not my thing anymore.

Oh, one more thing before I go. We found the most beautiful park! 320 acres and a huge lake. Can't wait to go back.

Hate be gone

2010-03-12T14:42:00.000-08:00

Did anything ever happen to you that you just could not let go? I mean, did someone really stick it to you, stab you in the back or completely destroy your trust in mankind? Yeah, I figured as much.

So, that happened to me about 13-14 years ago. A person that I trusted the most just completely and utterly ruined my life. I have hated that person for such a long time. Laughed when I found out ill things happened to them shortly after and felt little vindication.

I really wanted that person's world to be shit. I wanted that person to live a long and miserable life. Well, I got my wish and it does not feel good.

That person got in touch with me this week after many, many years. Their life is completely destroyed, and they just came back from Iraq. Now, I am a veteran and I feel that no soldier should ever, EVER have to have their spouse destroy their relationship and life they built together over a 10 yr period, while the are DEPLOYED! Isn't it enough to just survive the day without worrying about your spouse cheating on you and going to jail and what will happen to your kid and why is there no money in the account?

So, that person got in touch with me because they feel that after all these years they are being punished for what they had done to me. I imagined a million times in my head what I would say to this person given the chance and this is what I said instead:

It's ok. I forgive you. As a matter of fact, somewhere deep down inside, I think I forgave you a really long time ago. People are not punished in life for their past deeds. Sometimes people just make really bad decisions and you get caught up in it. It's not karma, it's not fate, it's just life. I'm sorry too. Remember this conversation because one day, you'll probably be on the same end of it that I am today.

So I have quit hating my ex husband. I worry more now for his sanity and how he will raise his little girl. I am encouraging him to get counseling because he is a war vet and now soon to be a divorcee again. Good luck to him and thank him so much more for forgiving me because I really needed to be forgiven for my own ill will towards him.

Early Morning Ramblings

2010-03-06T02:48:00.000-08:00

So I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning and wonder why is it, when I hit the bed around 8 p.m., I always wake up at 3 a.m.?

My dog has serious issues. She likes to "play" this game where if I look at her, she growls or barks and runs up to me, then runs to her food bowl and eats her food as fast as she can. Do dogs have eating disorders?

I wanted to go to my new gym this morning. I figured they'd probably open up around 5 a.m. or so. Nope, they open at 8 a.m. on Saturdays and at 2 p.m. on Sundays.... I can see that I probably won't go to the gym on Sundays, as 2 p.m. is kind of late in the day for me.

People tell me to take temptation (ie: chips, candy, etc) out of the house. But I find that when I keep them in the house, I don't CRAVE them and I mostly do not eat them either. But if I don't keep them in the house I eat like 3 sandwiches which cannot be healthy!

I had a dream that I was sitting in a church with my friend Chris who is currently in Iraq. In my dream he grabbed my hand for comfort. I hope that he is doing well in Iraq and that I hear from him soon because I know it's hard being away from friends and family for so long.

Well, that is all of my crazy early morning ramblings for now.

Monday Night Lasagna

2010-03-02T04:01:00.000-08:00

I tried out this recipe for lasagna last night and it was great. It was straight out of the South Beach Diet cookbook.

The tomato sauce takes an hour to cook so if you are going to make this, make sure you start about 2 hours before you are going to serve your meal.

South Beach Tomato Sauce

1/4 cup extra virgin oil
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 can (28 oz) peeled italian tomatoes
2 cloves of garlic, minced
4 leaves fresh basil, chopped
2 tbsp chopped parsley leaves
1/2 tsp sugar substitute ( I used Splenda)
pinch of ground red pepper
1/4 cup canned ripe olives, chopped

Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 minutes, or until soft. Add the tomatoes w/ juice, garlic, basil, parsley, sugar substitute and pepper. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour. Add the olives and simmer for 3 minutes longer.

Makes about 2 cups.

Nutrition per 1/4 cup: 100 calories, 7 g fat, 1 g sat fat, 1 g protein, 5 g carbs, 1g dietary fiber, 0 mg cholesterol, 220 mg sodium.

Whole Wheat Veggie Lasagna

1 tsp extra virgin olive oil
1 zucchini, sliced ( I used two, didn't find that one was enough)
2 cups (16 oz) reduced fat ricotta cheese
1 egg
1 tbsp dried basil
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
2 cups South Beach Tomato Sauce
9 whole wheat lasagna noodles, cooked
1 package (10 oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed
1/4 cup (1 oz) grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup (1 oz) shredded reduced fat mozzerella cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat a 13 x 9 inch baking dish with cooking spray.

Heat oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the zucchini and cook for 5 minutes, or until crisp tender. Remove from the heat and set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine the ricotta, egg, basil, salt and pepper. Set aside 1/2 cup of the spaghetti sauce.

Place 3 lasagna noodles in the prepared baking dish. Evenly sppon half of the spaghetti sauce over the noodles. Top with half of the ricotta mixture, half of the spinach, half of the zucchini and half of the Parmesan. Repeat layering with 3 more noodles and remaining ingredients. End with the remaining 3 noodles. Spoon the remaining sace over the top and sprinkle with the mozzarella.

Cover with the foil and bake for 25 minutes. Uncover and bake for 20 minutes longer or until hot and bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Makes 12 servings.

Nutrition per serving: 217 calories, 7 g fat, 4 g sat fat, 12 g protein, 29 g carbs, 4 g dietary fiber, 44 mg cholesterol and 36 mg sodium.

I found this to be a fantastic meal even for my husband who is a MEAT LOVER. He loved this and brought some with him to work this morning. The sauce has a really great taste and would probably be good by itself over pasta.

Working together

2010-02-28T15:31:00.000-08:00

My husband went and had his annual physical this year with the VA. He has gained a bit of weight and his cholesterol is borderline. His doctor said they want to give him a chance to change his diet, and lose weight before they stuck him on a Statin drug. So now I am on a mission! A mission to do an overhaul on our diet and exercise and to make US healthy so that we can live a long, long life together. We sat down with my Cooking Light magazines and one of the MANY cookbooks that I have, and went through each recipe. We marked the ones that would benefit both of our diets. We set him up with a Sparkpeople page to help him track his food. It feels better to do this together b/c I have seriously been faltering the last 2 mths with my own dieting and exercising.

Tonight, for dinner, we had 6oz. of baked fish (Pangasius) and he had 4 oz of steamed asparagus, and I had 1.5 oz of asparagus. Yum! Tomorrow night we are trying a vegetarian lasagna. And if I can wake up early enough in the morning, I will grill a chicken breast and send it along with a baby spinach salad for him to take to work. Woohoo! Finally motivated again!

My trip to the ER

2010-02-25T18:17:00.000-08:00

Let me start off before I went to the ER last night.

On Tuesday, I started getting a cough and achy joints from the hips down. I told my husband that I was probably coming down with a cold. Which sucks. Because I am diabetic. And it takes FOREVER to heal.

Wednesday morning I woke up and the cough felt really deep in my chest when I coughed. Then later on in the day it felt like a sharp pain behind my right shoulder. I took a hot shower and then coughed up nasty dark phlegm (sorry but just leading up to it all).

So my husband got home and I told him I was worried that maybe I was coming down with swine flu or something because of all the aches and pains. Around 9:30pm last night, I finally told him to take me to the ER, because I was worried that maybe, just maybe, I had pneumonia.

Got the Memorial Hermann ER and was seen right away. Got a breathing treatment, while they stuck an IV needle in my arm and drew blood, made me pee in a cup, then stuck a long little brush up both sides of my nose (OMG I think it touched my tonsils it freaking hurt!) to test for the flu. Sent me to Xray and had my chest xray'd and doctor came in and said " You seem to have a touch of pneumonia".

So they hooked up an antibiotic to the IV and let it drip for an hour. Nurse came in, disconnected the bag, pulled out the IV and left the room.

5 seconds later.......

...came back into the room with an OMG! look on her face and holding a bag of sodium chloride says, "I'm sorry, I was supposed to give you this one too". WTH??

So said nurse has to stick a NEW IV into my arm, which was just lovely, and hook me up for another hour of dripping into my veins. By this time it is 2 in the morning and when she comes in to remove IV I say "Go find out if this is it b/c you ARE NOT STICKING me again." So comes back in 5 minutes later with another bag just to make sure I am hydrated. Meanwhile, the ER Doc is on the phone with my doc discussing if they should admit me into the hospital. Outcome...we think it's safe for her to go home.

So he comes in and they remove the IV and the nurse takes my heart rate....99. So he checks my pulse..99. So they put the little thingy on my finger.....240!

I have to lie down and they hook me up to the EKG and ......99. Freaky. I was really worried that I was having a heart attack or something even though I felt fine and normal.

They released me at 4am, came home, went to bed, went to my doc's office at 8am, got the all clear, filled my prescriptions which consisted of 2 antibiotics, 1 albuterol pump and (mercy me!) Robitussin with codeine. I have gotten a total of 6 hours of sleep today but only in 3 hr increments as the coughing is waking me up. Hoping for a better day tomorrow and that they caught this early enough for me not to end up in the hospital.

Forgot to add...

2010-02-17T21:19:00.000-08:00

I bought a bunch of new workout clothes. Really colorful and I am ready to start using them. Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym in town and check it out. I need to start going to the gym because my cardio is not enough to lose more weight.I have plateaued out this past month. I need to add the dreaded weights to my workout, Uggh! I hate lifting, even if I can bench 100 lbs! (Well, it impresses me so who cares!?)

I have 2 requirements of the gym......a.) rowing machine and b.) sauna. Everything else is just an added bonus LOL.

A Late Valentines Celebration

2010-02-17T21:11:00.000-08:00

You know what? I just love my husband. He understands the times when I just need to slow down and relax. We didn't celebrate V-Day b/c he and his boss watched NASCAR and if any of you or any of your other halves watch NASCAR, then you know they had like some 6 hour delay. So my husband's boss was here ALL DAY Sunday.

Well tonight he comes home from work and I tell him we are just going to go eat somewhere b/c I really did not want to cook tonight. There is a little Italian resturant owned by this little old Italian man in town. And I told my husband I wanted to go eat there tonight (because I really wanted a good glass of Italian wine!). We waited to be seated and then ordered our food and wine and we sat and talked and it was so nice. I love this place. People sit in there for hours, enjoying their loved ones as it is custom to do in Italy. To sit and eat and "visit" with each other after a long day is so wonderful. I wish we could do that every night. We were in this place for a little over 2 hours. So were all the people that were there when we came in. I am thinking of making this a monthly event so that I can just spend that time with my husband.

After 3 yrs

2010-02-14T22:55:00.000-08:00

Before.

During.

After!

We finally painted the first room in our house. Now the builders had put some kind of flat beige paint on the walls when they built our house but I've been saying since 2007 that I was going to paint every room a different color. So Friday, my husband and I headed over to Lowe's and picked up a huge selection of paint sample cards and walked around the house putting them up against the wall until we found the one we wanted for the front guest bedroom. The front bedroom is where we have decided to start and we will work our way (EVENTUALLY) from the front to the back. My plan is to go through each room, completely clean it out. Go through everything and throw away junk and put aside things for a garage sale and keep the things we need. I hate clutter and my husband is a total pack rat! So we went back to Lowes, Saturday morning, bought everything we needed and then some, and preceded to tape off the entire room and then paint it. I think we did a great job and it came out really nice. Since the rest of my house is still beige and the front room is now a dark Lilac, I keep gravitating towards that room to stare in awe at the pretty color. LOL. Next weekend we are painting the guest bathroom a nice yellow color. It feels good to start finally putting our personal touch on our home.

Went see the surgeon on Monday

2010-02-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

Well I went in yesterday and got weighed. +9 lbs. Kill. Me. Now. I fessed up about my bad eating habits and the lack of exercise since after Christmas and my feeble attempt to do something about it by doubling up on the treadmill for a week. He told me it happens, to just get back on track.

So, I have found a gym near my house. I signed up for the three day pass then I will get a membership. I think I am going to like it. It's a Christian based gym and so there is a dress code. Haha little Miss Abs-of-Steel! I won't have to see you in your extremely short spandex shorts and sports bra! Lovely!

Tonight is Mexican food night. I am making tacos, pico de gallo, and refried beans and rice. I like to eat just the pico de gallo with the beans. That is more enough of a meal for me. I needed to switch it up from all the soups and meat stuff I have been cooking for them.

Found some motivation....

2010-02-03T11:57:00.000-08:00

....within myself this week.

I have decided to do the treadmill twice a day for the rest of this week. I may or may not keep up that pace after that but this week, it's on.

My body is hurting in places I forgot it could hurt but it's a good hurt. It's a "hey you finally remembered I (says the muscles) exist!" Yeah, it hurts for now but it won't hurt forever.

I would like to be able to build up to walk/run 4 miles a day no less than 5 days a week, then move on to 5 miles/ 5 days a week by the end of March. It's daunting b/c my butt is so out of shape but I will attempt to do it.

And speaking of butts, I have like no butt at all. It's why buying pants sucks b/c for some reason, people who make jeans forgets that some people don't have butts or hips but they sew in a huge space for them anyways and then b/c my waist is an inch wider than my hips, my pants fall off of my bootie. And even when I'll be able to fit into said pants with smaller waist than hips, the butt will be saggy b/c I don't have a butt to fill it out. I will prob have to switch to men's jeans. Ah, the unfairness of it all!

The Count

2010-02-02T20:55:00.001-08:00

One, one time on the treadmill today ...ah ah ah!

Two, two times on the treadmill today....ah ah ah!

I am a glutton for punishment.

I'm so sore!

2010-02-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

I don't know what my problem was but for 3 wks I vegged. I didn't do consistent working out, I ate like crap (yes, you can eat like crap with Lap Band) and I found every excuse in the book to not workout.

Like, the fact that for a lovely 10 days I suffered with PMS then that time of the month. During that time I gained 12 lbs in one day. No, my scale is not broken. How do I know? Because I put the hubby and kid on the scale through out the day and their weight stays the same while mine jumps around 3 to 5 lbs a day. Sometimes, I really hate being a woman.

So the day after my "visitor" left, I lost 8 lbs. Then another 4 the next day. So tell me that my body is NOT freaking INSANE????

I got my butt on the treadmill yesterday and walked/jogged for 30 minutes. I was really feeling the jog. It's been awhile since I just moved those feet like the old skinny, running days. Did 100 crunches after that. Then this morning I woke up like a 90 year old lady, hurting from the hips on down. Ow!

Got on the treadmill again this morning though, and walked/jogged through the soreness. Of course, the jogging was much slower and for a much shorter time but I know I will have to get through about a week and a half of soreness before the body starts feeling up to running faster and longer. So I did 33 minutes on the treadmill and 100 crunches again. Next week I will add pushups. Don't want my legs and back and arms hurting all at the same time! Hope to lose at least 2-3 lbs this week.

"Why?" Friday

2010-01-29T13:17:00.000-08:00

Why do I only want to really fix my hair on rainy days?

Why do I wait for the phone to ring 4 times from Cody's school before I pick it up?

Why is my gas bill 30 dollars higher this month?

Why do I not want to chaperone Cody's 5th grade class party on the 12th?

Why does my dog only want my attention for one hour a day, right before my husband gets home?

Why are you punished too, when you punish your kids? (Not really fair is it? I say go punch someone in the head b/c you are going to be punished for nothing, otherwise!)

Why isn't Houston renamed the Bermuda Triangle, b/c the weather here is really an unexplained phenomenon that no weather person can predict or explain?

Why does the school give you the option of looking at your kids grades online and then the teacher doesn't post all of them nor return any of your emails on what grades are missing?

Why do you have to give up something for Lent when you already gave up all the things you loved when you had Lap Band surgery?

Alright phone rang and totally threw me off. Maybe next week I'll have something different for you.

Doggie Dieting, Overpriced Lawyers and Lazer Lying

2010-01-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

So I always have all these cool ideas on what to write in my blog. All day long I write the story in my head but by the time I get a chance to sit down and write......it's gone.

Instead I will just sit here and type up what's been going on all week. So let's see:

I bought a bag of those Valentine Heart Candy. I love the little messages on them but was pretty shocked and perhaps a little annoyed at the new stuff on them. "Tweet me" "Text me" blah blah blah. I picked those out and threw them away while tossing some at my husband. "Me & You" "Wink, Wink" while he laughed as each one landed in front of him every 10 seconds. I had poured the candy into a small bowl with a screw top lid on it because my dog likes to jump in my chair with me and whine for candy. (No I don't give her any!) But the funny part about it is she will GUARD the candy. She lays down on top of it and if you try to reach for it she hunches over it and growls at you. So now she is helping me in my quest to lose weight. Anytime I want to snack I just put it in a bowl and let her lay down on it so that if I want it, I have to brave getting past a 10 lb doggie to get it. I tell you, it's pretty effective.

I don't remember if I posted this but we have started the process of getting full custody of Cody. I hired a lawyer and he only wanted THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! for a retainer. I am Miss Cheap, it was VERY hard to write that check but I ponied up b/c there is no way Cody is going back with his insane mother. Now hopefully this lawyer works as fast as he cashed that check!

Oh, how's this for dealing with issues of a 12 yr old kid. So Cody comes home from school Monday with a little Lazer Pointer thingy. I ask him where he got it and he said the bus driver gave it to him for being good on the bus. Well, I know that the teachers and bus drivers give the kids in Elementary school little prizes for being good and stuff but a lazer? My husband thought it was fishy too. Especially since we live right next to a small airport. So he took it away from Cody and waited at the bus stop yesterday morning with Cody to confront the bus driver. Here is how the conversation went:

Hubby: did you give this lazer to Cody yesterday?
Bus Driver: no, I never even seen that lazer before.
Hubby: Cody I thought you said the bus driver gave this too you.
Cody: Yes Mr. Busdriver, you did.
Hubby: I am taking Cody to school today and going talk to the principal to get to the bottom of this.

So Hubby gets to the school, talks to the principal with Cody, leaves the school to come home and phone rings. Principal lady says "Cody wants to tell you guys something". Cody gets on phone "I'm sorry I lied, this 5th grader boy gave it to me". Principal lady gets back on the phone and says " I told Cody I was going to review the tapes from the camera on the bus and he immediately told me that he lied". Well it figures, since this is his new favorite thing to do. So the school confiscated the lazer and left it up to us to punish him.

Arghhh! I am getting so tired of this. That he could actually stand there to this man's face and lie and said "Yes you gave this to me" really discourages me because it shows lack of remorse and guilt. When he got home we sat for a long time and I told him that he could have gotten this man fired and that the man would not be able to feed or take care of his family all b/c Cody lied. That his actions have consequences that could affect more than just us. Then I gave him a huge plastic tote, sent him to his room to pack up all toys, electronics and games. He has a chart on how he can earn each one back. Some will take longer than others. I had him write down, in his journal, about what he done and what could have happened and how that would have made him feel so that he can discuss this with his therapist. He also had to write a letter to the bus driver apologizing for his actions and I stood at the bus stop this morning to make sure he gave the note to the bus driver and apologize out loud for what he did. Sometimes apologizing out loud is more effective than anything.

Cody can make you feel so SORRY for him. When he gets in trouble, he reverts to trying to please you as much as possible. "I'm sorry" "Please don't be mad at me" "I love you". So on and so forth and you just want to let it slide but I worked as a drill instructor at a juvenile boot camp so I know that I have to stick to my guns.

I know kids lie and do mischivious things but sheesh, this was kind of big b/c a man could have lost his job over this! So that was my frustrating week and hopefully the rest of it goes by without anymore incident.

Black and Gold, Super Bowl!

2010-01-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

Saints are going to the Super Bowl for the first time! Geaux Saints!

Crazy Days!

2010-01-21T14:39:00.000-08:00

Well so much has been going on recently. First, my father in law fell at the nursing home and broke his hip. We waited almost a whole week for him to be well enough to have surgery this morning and he is doing fine.

My sensor in my tire has been going off for almost a week now. I finally got it into the Ford dealership today to find out there was water in my tire (WTH?) and it destroyed the sensor. Good thing we have the 7 yr extended warranty. This is the third one to be replaced, so be prepared to see me for every little thing, FORD! Your not getting rid of me until the end of 2014! Woohoo!

And finally, my most exciting and most dreaded topic to discuss today......CUSTODY! With my father in law being in the hospital, Cody's mom has called alot to his cell phone. I answered one day and told her how he was doing. After that phone call I though long and hard about what I should do. I decided to broach the subject of her giving us custody, once again and was surprised that A.) She did not hang up on me, and B.) She said yes.

I won't go into specifics of what ultimatums are in place for this to happen but rest assure that if she changes her mind, it's off to court. And she already has a warrant out for her arrest, therefore; she won't be there and she will not get any visitation. I feel so much better now. I am waiting, while I type, to hear back from the lawyer so that I can make an appointment with him for sometime next week. This could really happen, and happen sometime soon at that!

On a side note, Cody gave me a letter yesterday asking if he could call me and my husband, Mom and Dad. I told him it was fine and that we won't push him to do it, that when it feels right he can do it.

And that, people, is what's been going on!

Green Tea, Treadmill and an Exercise Ball....

2010-01-14T15:10:00.000-08:00

what more do I need to lose weight? Ha!

Today I walked/jogged 35 minutes on the treadmill, drank 40 oz of my own brewed green tea and did somewhere around 100 crunches on an exercise ball.

Next purchase at the store will be kettlebells. Hey! They seem to work for the Biggest Losers so I will give it a try.

Had somewhere around 500 calories so far today. Decided to go back to my high protein low carb/fat diet. Will try to stay at 1100-1200 calories again. Seemed to have lost my steam for 3 wks but I am revving it back up to get down to -40 total lbs by the end of January, which means I have around 6 lbs to go.

Drink green tea people!

Oh yeah, don't respond with how the contestants are doing on Biggest Loser, I am not caught up on watching it yet so don't ruin it for me!

44

2010-01-12T07:48:00.001-08:00

So suddenly, I have 44 readers! That's 12 more than last week. What's going on here? I think the pictures of New Year's dinner brought you all in! LOL

My first weekly resolution started yesterday. The mission? Exercise 30 minutes everyday this week. The monthly resolution of taking my vitamins and supplements everyday is going well. So far 100% taken.

The purpose of making weekly and monthly resolutions? To start a habit of doing what's necessary to keep good health while not feeling overwhelmed by a huge list of things that I really want to incorporate in my life.

I, like so many others, tend to have big goals that eventually sputter out because it becomes too hard to do so much. I figured if I make it a small goal with a small time limit, I can possibly make it a habit worth keeping. I find I am already popping vitamins after a week and a half without even thinking about it, first thing in the morning. And while today I dread having to get on the treadmill, I am looking forward to how I will feel when I get off of it.

Baby steps, Krys, baby steps!

Cabbaging it up!

2010-01-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am cooking steak, deviled eggs and cabbage for dinner. Yes, it will make 3 nights in a row that we've had cabbage but I got a great deal on cabbage the other day. HEB was selling heads of cabbage 3/$1.00 after New Year's. I know everyone must be tired of it but it was cheap and anyone who has shopped with me before knows I buy the cheapest cuts of meat, the cheapest canned goods and the cheapest (meaning seasonal) vegetables and fruit. It doesn't mean we are eating unhealthy because I look for lean cuts of meat, it just means that I am the crazy lady who takes all the meat out of the cooler to look for the cheapest one even if it is slightly smaller than the rest. Yes my pantry looks like a commodity shelf with all the white "GREAT VALUE" canned goods from WalMart but here's the thing, they taste the same or better than DelMonte, etc etc. There is one or two things that I like that I just have to have like Blue Plate mayonnaise. Sorry but I hate Helmann's and all the others, it's Blue Plate for me! And I like the Whitewheat bread. But that is about where the splurges end. I shop for 2 wks of groceries at a time and normally spend around 120-150.00 which I think is a great deal. I really probably don't have to shop for a whole month with the stock of food I have in my pantry and freezer but you never know when family when come visit. And I have a huge family of 5 bros/sis in laws and their kids. So, I may be cheap, and my house may smell of cabbage but we will always have a good meal to sit down too and for that I am thankful.

3 day streak!

2010-01-06T09:15:00.000-08:00

So I have taken my vitamins/meds/supplements 3 days in row! Woohoo! I am on a streak. Now I am thinking of making weekly resolutions, starting next week. Maybe I am on to something here?

Back to School, Back to work, Makes Krys happy

2010-01-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

My husband went back to work and my nephew back to school today. Thank God, I need a vacation after having them up my butt for 16 days. Not that I didn't enjoy spending time with them but way too much together time. You know what I am talking about!

This morning I went to Dr. W for my 4th fill. I seemed to magically gain 4 lbs from the time I weighed myself before bed and the time I woke up this morning. What the heck, over? So I didn't eat or drink any water. Dressed light and even took the stairs at the hospital.

OMG, how out of shape am I? His office is on the 5th floor so I started up the stairs at a steady pace behind a nurse and after she left off at the 4th floor I had to stop and catch my breath between 4 and 5. How embarrassing!

Got weighed in, lost 5 lbs since last fill a month ago. Not really excited about it because I know I really lost 8 but my body pulled a big fat joke on me and probably sleep walked itself to the fridge and ate 4 lbs of food just to make me look like a jackass this morning.

Got a small fill today. About a half cc in the band. I think I am at around an 8 now. We shall see how it works later when I eat. I hope that this is the LAST fill b/c I hate having needles stuck in my stomach. It doesn't hurt but it's still a 3 inch needle and well do I need to say more?

I am going to make a monthly resolution so that I can actually keep it. So here is my monthly resolution. It is really simple but believe or not I have had the worst time doing this. I am going to take my mulitvitamin and supplements everyday for the month of January. I need to stick to this so that my body doesn't miss out on what it needs and so that my hair doesn't fall out. So starting today, everyday, take my supplements.

Time for the 4th fill

2010-01-03T10:21:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow I am supposed to be getting a 4th fill in my Lap Band. I have no idea whether I will be getting one or not because I suffered with tonsillitis recently. I will gladly accept whatever Dr. W says tomorrow on the subject b/c the last thing I'd want is to have a surgery to remove my Band because of complications. I have not been diligent enough in December to lose the weight, I did not exercise for a whole week and a half. In my defense I was sick with fever and tonsillitis for a whole week but cannot justify not doing anything after that. I hate the needles, I hate weighing in when I KNOW I did not have a good month but at least I will be honest with him to let him know that. On the other hand, I still do not have enough restriction in my band. Things just go down so easy. I believe every pound that I have lost has been on my own and therefore it has not been easy and I can't keep it off easily. My weight yo-yo's all week long. Sometimes I gain 3 or 4 lbs in a day. Which is weird b/c I am eating a low cal, low fat, low carb diet.

I DO need to start remembering to take my multivitamins EVERYDAY. I forget sometimes and I don't want to miss out on my nutritional needs, or lose all of my hair! Well I am off. Today is grocery shopping day and I am going to buy mostly vegs today b/c I have lots of canned goods and frozen meat in the house.

Health, Wealth and Good Luck in 2010!

2010-01-01T11:04:00.000-08:00

Here is what I made for lunch and dinner today! Smothered cabbage and ham, and blackeyed peas and rice. To health, wealth and good luck! Not pictured is a nice glass of Lambrusco. Happy New Year's!

Christmas Pics

2009-12-30T23:24:00.000-08:00

My granddaugther Ashley (really my step granddaughter) and my nephew Cody, who lives with us.

Christmas Day

2009-12-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

Started off with a short "dream" about my mother. I don't believe they are dreams but my mom visiting me because I miss her so much. So anyways, we were in a dark house. I think it was the house we used to live in across from my grandparents, which the house is torn down now. It was just me and my mom and she walks in the room and I look at her and she is wearing the sweater I wanted to wear yesterday. I ask her if she was planning on wearing it and she says "well I can go change". Then she looks at me and says "how come we only talk in your dreams?" and I tell her "because you are gone" and she shrugs her shoulders and says "well that makes sense."

Then I woke up. I miss her so much and Christmas just hasn't felt like Christmas since she's been gone.

I spent the past week sick with tonsillitis. I felt well enough to go visit family yesterday and loved it. I loved staying home this year and spending Christmas with my husband and nephew, and not having to get on the road for once, and travelling. But mostly I loved coming home last night and just putting on the Pj's and knowing I get to rest the rest of the weekend and Cody is entertained by his own goodies from Santa. I hope everyone had a great holiday so far. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's!

Oh I am finally under 200 lbs. Yay!

My holiday diet plan

2009-12-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

Does not consist of watching what I eat. Nope, it is really simple. I have tonsillitis. That's right. It all started Sunday night with a sore throat which turned into 102 degree fever by Monday. I spent all day in the bed and was able to only take a few sips of water while tossing and turning in my bed and being drenched in a sour sweat. Wednesday saw me wide awake early in the morning and the first one at my Dr.'s office. She saw me an hour earlier than she normally opens. They took a swab test to see if it was strep and when she pressed on the swollen glands I cried b/c it REALLY hurt! After prescribing me Prednisone, Amoxicillin and liquid Vicodin (yay, pain relief)she woke me up and sent me on my way.

How can I describe the pain of being soooooooooooo thirsty and not being able to drink water? Well, I forced hydrated myself and for every sip I took I wanted to jab myself in my eye with a knife to forget about the excruciating pain in my ear and throat. Today is a bit better. The pain is bad but not enough to have kept me from drinking like a gallon of water. What a way to spend my Anniversary today. Maybe tomorrow I can move back to foods. All I know is if you ever think that you are having an illness that is worse than usual, don't wait to go to the doctor. Especially if you have one willing to give you good meds to make you feel all warm and fuzzy. And by the way, an electric blanket is so nice when every muscle in your body HURTS.

My fever is down from 102 to 99 so I am sure by Christmas day I will be all better. Happy Holidays you guys!

I will post pics after Christmas.

I've been bad...

2009-12-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

...at blogging.

So I have had mad frustration dealing with a 12 yr old, puberty ridden, nephew of mine who happens to live with us. He has taken up lying as his new fav hobby. Which is always just great when it comes to school and passing the 5th grade. I know why he is acting out, I just can't type it here. So pray I don't shake him until his head pops off b/c I have all the patience of an ankle biting little doggie who's front door you have come upon.

My weight is up and down + or - 4lbs on any given day simply because I am stressed! Lap Band is not easy. It's like this. You have to diet and exercise. Duh! Lap Band just makes it a little harder to eat large bites is all. I am still down 31 lbs (depending on the time of day that I weigh myself).

I had a birthday and it was muggy and rainy from that day until 4 days later. I just wasn't feeling it. Depressing enough to get old but with crappy weather it just sucks.

Christmas is in 9 days. When the hell did it become December? 2009......flew........by! We will be at the beginning of a new decade in basically, days. And true to my word from last year, when I saw a picture of myself disgustingly fat, yesterday made a year from that picture and I was NOT that fat this year as then. Woohoo! Still have a ways to go but that's ok. It is like being a great artist, it will probably always be "a work in progress".

Dog farts stink. Bad. My dog probably only comes around me to do this. Go away you little stinkbag!

That is all for today people, carry on.

Sorry I have been away so long

2009-12-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Life sure does get busy during the holidays. I went see my surgeon yesterday for my third fill and now my number is 7.5. I can feel it this morning. On the scale at his office I gained 1lb, which I have lost already. Just goes to show that if you do not put the effort in to it, you will not lose. I walked sporadically, I DID watch what I ate but just barely maintained so I have to rearrange my priorites and get back to working out.

What I did find out this week is that my treadmill cuts off at 100 minutes. So for those of you who don't know your machine's cut off time, you might want to check it out because I was on a high and in a big time midstride when BAMN it just STOPPED! Good thing I am not worried about this ugly mug of mine. :D

Sorry again for not checking in as often as I should have. It probably would have given me the peace of mind that I needed. Toodleloo!

Manic Monday

2009-11-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

When we were kids, a week's vacation from school was wonderful. As grown ups, with our own kids, sometimes we need a break! Cody did not end his last day of school before vacation well. He got suspended for playing around and kicking another kid at school in line. Lovely. So Friday he was suspended for one day of school. Now instead of all the things I planned to do, I have to punish him (which means I am punished too). I am hoping that he is learning his lesson. He hasn't been able to do anything except read books, write lines and chores. He is scrubbing my shower down with a scrub brush as we speak. I hope a weeklong punishment is enough to teach him "KEEP YOUR HANDS AND FEET TO YOURSELF". Sigh.

Smiley Face!

2009-11-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

I never smile in my pics. So here is a smiley face. (and some red lipstick, woohoo!)

THINGS I CANNOT EAT ANYMORE

2009-11-17T10:03:00.000-08:00

Well, let's just say it could be worse. Having something stuck in your throat in a restaurant is very embarrassing. Such as:

Tortillas
Salads with any raw vegetables
Any kind of bread

So far this is what I have dealt with. Surgeon says those are the first things to go, especially the bread which has made my life a living hell. I love BREAD, I write Ode's to bread, it has been the staple in my life for 30 some hmmumm years.

I am so not looking forward to what I will choke on next. Sad thing is, since it is expected that these foods are off the list for Lap Banders, that I can expect to probably get one more fill in my band.

Blah!

This Veterans Day

2009-11-12T00:20:00.000-08:00

This Veterans Day I stayed home, turned off the news, didn't read the newspaper or any articles online about it. I didn't want to hear about the Ft Hood tragedy or the soldiers overseas.

You see I am a U.S. Army Veteran. This is not a "happy" day for me. It is a day of remembrance for those who put their lives on the line or sacrificed themselves for this country. I'd like to believe that America today is as patriotic as it was during WWI and WWII. I fear that it is not. This country has taken the very laws that were put in place to protect the innocent and instead free the criminal. This country is outraged that terrorists would get on a plane and reek havoc amongst America and demand that something be done only to condemn the ones who stood up and did something. Our own president will give shout outs to his buddies before acknowledging that a great tragedy had befallen our nation on our own soil and say that we must take our time and examine the facts before proclaiming that a Muslim soldier more than likely killed people b/c of his faith and then stand before us a day later and say we must take quick action against the shooter who killed six people in Florida.

There is no greater bond in my life than of that with my fellow soldier. If you haven't served, then you may not understand. They give and they give and they give and they ask nothing in return except that you pass it on. I have witnessed countless acts of selflessness in all my days as a soldier. From all walks of life, in every race, color, religion they have decided to volunteer to protect unknown people, unknown places and sometimes even for unknown reasons, this great country we live in.

Anyone who doesn't think that we live in by far, the best country in the world, go visit another country. Any country. Read up on their laws. Let's say you are a woman, see how the courts would fare say in a custody hearing. Or with child support. See what the taxes are to buy a car, or to own a home. Go see if you have the right and freedom to express yourself in protest. I went to Albania on a peacekeeping mission in 1996. The women got up early every morning and walked out into the fields and worked all day while their husbands sat on the porch and visited and played chess and cards all day. The women had to take their children with them into the fields. I went to Rwanda and lets just say you don't quite have the right to worship in the way you'd like or even the religion you believe in for that matter.

But our soldiers, be it Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines, come together in unity. They will tell you "we are all green". I have heard soldiers say they didn't believe in God and yet never hesitated to bow their heads and pray along with the rest right before a mission. I have lost friends in the Army. Some from natural causes, some from accidents and some from combat and it never gets easier. It doesn't ease my mind or my pain that I know that we volunteered for it, we know that there is a great chance we might die, we prepare for it by doing our wills yearly, ensuring that our beneficiaries are correct, telling our families and spouses what we want to happen if we die (at the age of 18, 20, 23......you get the picture).

So on this Veterans Day I chose to privately email everyone of my friends who have served or is serving now and tell them it was an honor to know them and to serve our country alongside of them. I chose to talk to a military veterans group I belong to and share stories of those who didn't make it.

Don't wait for Memorial Day to remember the fallen, don't wait until Veterans Day to thank those who have served, don't look at it as a day off (because let's face it, the Army peeps mostly have to work on these days anyway!), just don't wait to tell someone in the military that you thank them for their courage to serve and protect and to give up some of their own freedoms to provide for this country.

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.” – President Ronald Reagan
______________
War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made so and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. --John Stuart Mill

Down 2 Sizes

2009-11-10T05:59:00.000-08:00

I am down from a size 18 (almost 20) to a size 14 (comfortably). I found this out yesterday when I stopped at Wal Mart to get a new pair of jeans. I picked up a 16 then saw a 14 and said "what the hay" and tried those on first. Perfect fit. While I did not go crazy and buy like 10 pairs of them, I settled for the one pair and cannot wait to wear them somewhere nice this weekend. Now, if I could just go down in ring size I could wear all my mother's jewelry.

The Second Fill

2009-11-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

So today I went to see my surgeon who did my Lap Band surgery. It has been 10 wks since surgery and I have lost right at 30 lbs. I haven't lost anything on my scale in the last 3 wks but on their scale I've lost 4 lbs. I think it's because I took off my shoes this time or maybe it's the haircut. Who knows.

I haven't been blogging on here as much as I did when I first started. Sorry, things have been insane here in the last 3 wks. My sister in law knows what is going on so she will understand completely when she reads this what I mean. I really can't go into details but it has been very stressful trying to get custody of child who is not you are your spouses.

The procedure of getting a fill this time was not so bad. Small needle small syringe, 1 second of my life given for a quick injection. My number is 7 now on the band. So for anyone doing it, it's not so bad the SECOND time. The first fill you will have to refer to my previous blog about how it was.

I have lost 6 inches in my waist and 1 inch in my hips. My hips were smaller than my waist to start off with so I am not really worried about the small loss there. My body looks like Frankenstein, the upper body does not match the lower body. I have a totally in shape body from the hips down and always have, my upper body looks like someone put the snowman together wrong, but it's all starting to pan out now.

Last night as I got on the scale I realized with horror that I had gained nearly 6 lbs in one day. I hate being a woman, we retain so horribly sometimes. I got on the treadmill for 70 minutes and told my husband it was my "LAST CHANCE WORKOUT" before going to weigh in today. He chuckled but that 6 lbs was gone this morning. I know it's water retention and that it's not fat but it still freaks me out a bit.

The Day After...

2009-11-01T10:52:00.000-08:00

Well it looks like Halloween was a success for us all around. I gave out all the candy I bought, got to see alot of great costumes and Cody went around the entire subdivision with our neighbor and came back with two buckets of candy. We are back down to one bucket of candy after going through it and throwing away anything that looked old, unsafe or opened. I will give it three weeks then throw whatever is left away.

I dressed up this year a little bit with a long black broom skirt, black shirt and boots and lots of black makeup. See picture from previous post. I figured I love Halloween, it is one of my favorite holidays and I haven't really been into it the last few years. So next year I will let Cody have a Halloween party in our garage from 6-8pm the weekend before Halloween to also celebrate his birthday. It will be fun and it is going to be his 13th birthday so we can do costumes and stuff.

Well I am off, hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T15:45:00.000-07:00

And I am back

2009-10-30T21:43:00.001-07:00

I haven't been as diligent about writing as I should have been the past few weeks. Life got busy. Real busy. We found out some things about my nephew's life before us, and contacted CPS. In just 2 wks they jumped through hoops and went out of their way to do what needed to be done. Cody's mom got out of jail on Monday. She's contacted us once to let us know about her but not really asking about her son.

I found out she has hopped on a bus from Texas and is heading to Louisiana to find an old boyfriend. No plans to visit her son at all.

What we found out 2 wks ago and have been pursuing with CPS will probably keep her from seeing him for a very long time. A detective from Louisiana spoke with Cody today. His mom and her boyfriend will be arrested sometime within the next week and Cody will be living with us.

We have been given 30 days temporary custody and when the investigation is complete we are expecting to get complete "kinship custody" of him.

Do I feel bad for his mother? Hell no. I am not going to go into specifics but I basically hope she never gets to see him again.

Thank you sis in law for the moral support you have given me during this time because I really needed it!

Random pics

2009-10-28T23:11:00.001-07:00

Dec 2008

Mar 2009

Feb 2009

I lost again!

2009-10-23T22:34:00.000-07:00

After 2 wks plateau and 6 lbs of weight gain and loss with my weirdo body, I lost another pound! Yay! So I am now - 29 lbs. Woohoo! I am hoping by next week to reach my first mini goal of 30 lbs.

On another note. My nephew has let us know some pretty disturbing things about his life before living with us. We are currently pursuing custody of him. Please pray that God lets him stay with us b/c he has had so much traumatizing events happen to him in his poor little short life. I can understand some of the things he goes through now and can more easily deal with them. Keep your fingers crossed that this happens for him and for us.

Sorry Haven't Posted in a Bit

2009-10-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Had to bring Cody to 4 dr appts last week. The first one was to meet his new therapist. He really needs someone to help him deal with his issues. We really like her, she does art and music therapy with children.

His second dr's visit was with an audiologist. We found out he has significant hearing loss in one ear. The social worker from school met with us at the doctor's office so she and I discussed some amendments to his program at school.

His third appt with with a dentist Friday. When he was with me last time, we found out he had 9 cavities. I only had time to bring him to get two filled before he went home with his mother so I was dreading finding out what is up with his teeth this time. So, they xray'd him and found that the ones with cavities had fallen out (mostly baby teeth) and he only had three cavities in the beginning stages. Dentist put sealant on his good teeth, sent him home with an appt to go in the next day (Sat) to do the fillings.

So we get there and Cody immediately starts to panic when they put the gas mask on him. He is freaking out so we finally calm him down and they start drilling. Cody is making this "aw, aw, aw" sounds the whole time. So when the dentist finally finishes drilling the first tooth he gets ready to fill and and WHOOSH! Projectile vomiting of Frosted Flakes EVERYWHERE! I was lucky, I was in the corner. And yes I did laugh because the nurse freaked but the dentist just laughed (with vomit all over himself) and we sat Cody up. Cleaned him up, the dentist filled the tooth and has rescheduled him for a 2nd appt to get the other 2 teeth after Cody cried and threw a fit. :::sigh::: I know now how frustrated moms get.

Anywho, Cody goes to his first real therapy appt tonight. I am hoping he discusses his mom and we start getting things down on record. I am so sick of her "me me me" attitude and her "i never do anything wrong, it's everyone elses fault" drama. Please let Cody go in there and tell his therapist all the things that he's been telling us.

That is all, I am spent!

Getting dressed up....

2009-10-15T22:32:00.001-07:00

...and going see the musical Little Shop of Horrors this weekend! Yay! Can't wait. I have always loved the movie and the "Feed me Seymour!"

O....M....G...!!!

2009-10-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, I went in this morning for my first fill in my Lap Band. OMG! The nurse set out the tray of stuff that the doctor needed to do it. Now, I have a cute doctor, he looks like Chase off of "House" but he ain't cute enough to rid me of my fear of needles.

The nurse set out 3 needles. Each one bigger than the next. She set out three syringes, each one bigger than the next. So, the doctor comes in and has me lay down and pull my shirt up so he can get to my port.

Ok, let me tell you, he had me raise my head up and tighten my stomach b/c he was not one of those "fantastic" doctors I had been hearing about who uses some instrument to see where your port is so he can just inject you right into the port.

No, my doctor is a "feeler". He pressed down onto my stomach to feel where the port was while I sat there hyperventilating and thinking about why he needed to use 3 NEEDLES! Which he only used one but I am not lying when I say it was THE! BIGGEST! SYRINGE! that has ever been used on me.

So he pulls out the syringe that is the size of a meat injector that you can get at any grocery store. (NOT EXAGGERATING!) and a 3 inch long needle. OMFG SERIOUSLY!?! He told me I wasn't going to feel it and no I did not get any anesthesia.

So when he put the needle in me it really didn't hurt but here I was in a "sit up" like position so I could see him digging around trying to find the port. I grossed out and just laid back b/c seeing that made me weak. I watched my husband's face, who by the way, has this morbid fascination with all things gross and I saw his face give me the "I can't believe you aren't screaming and making me tell the doctor to stop" look b/c well, it probably looked really painful even though I didn't feel anything.

It was over pretty quickly and I now have 6 cc's of fluid in my band which he said probably won't do much at this point before my next fill. So we shall see. Had I seen the needle before surgery, I probably would've opted out b/c I am a needle phobic person to the max.

Tomorrow, the BIG Day.

2009-10-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

The pic from Dec 2008 that made up my mind that I wasn't going to look like this by next Christmas.
Taken yesterday. Down almost 30 lbs this year.

Yay! Tomorrow I get my first fill in my Lap Band. I had surgery nearly 7 wks ago and have lost approximatly 28 lbs. The top pic got me motivated to lose as nothing else has ever done so. I don't want to die young like my mother did with all the medical probs I started having from weight gain and Diabetes. So hopefully in a month my pic will be much smaller and so on until I reach my goal weight 61 lbs from now.

Quick Update

2009-10-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Have some kind of stomach bug this afternoon but on a lighter note, I lost another 2 lbs this week already! Yay! Down 28 lbs.......woohoo! And yes, I will celebrate every pound I lose!

Wednesday Whining of a mad bald hungry woman

2009-10-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

The last few days I have been SOOOOOOOOOOO lazy. I haven't wanted to do anything. I mean I walked Monday and today but I didn't really want to. I quit using my CPAP machine about 4 wks ago and I figured I'd start using it again because using it coincided with some of my biggest weight loss.

So Saturday I cleaned it up real good and started using it. Every night that I have used it I have awoken in the morning feeling like someone beat me up ALL OVER. From a pounding headache in my head, to arms and legs and back hurting. I almost gave up after a second night of crappy sleep but each day it gets a little less painful.

I haven't really done everything I could to lose weight and realized that Monday is the day I get my band filled for the first time. I wanted to be 30 lbs down by the time I went back to see the surgeon. I've lost a total of 26 lbs since my pre-op diet until now. I'll take that loss any day of the week but I know I could have done better!

My diet has changed and I am more aware of what I eat and stuff but the bad habits are still there. I moved my laptop back into our home office so I don't sit in front of the TV in my recliner while on my laptop doing nothing all day. But I still spend too much time on my bootie. I think that volunteering at Cody's school has helped me get out every once in a while, but it hasn't been as rewarding as I thought it would be. I know that I want to go back to work but cannot afford to go out and buy the wardrobe I'd need to do anything.

My clothes are starting to fall off my butt, but if I bought clothes now I'd be replacing them in a month or two so I have resigned myself to doing it one pair of jeans a month. I am almost out of my 16's but I looked in the mirror and my stomach is still way bigger than my hips so my clothes are going to fall off anyways.

I think I just need more carbs, I am feeling so down lately. But with a rise in carbs, there comes the rise in BG levels and I am making do right now with one shot of insulin a day without having to take the other insulin or two meds that I took before. I really want to lose the weight without having to take another shot of insulin in this lifetime. I really need some me time but my husband is out of town and I am raising a nephew who needs lots of attention right now and two dogs and I just want to go on a "me" vacation.

Anywho, just wanted to blog and get it off my chest so I can move forward. I will let you all know how the band filling goes on Monday and if it's painful or what. Wish me luck!

Losing Weight is......

2009-10-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

(Haha, don't you just love Dr. Phil??? This is my fav motivational poster.)

Boring. Losing weight after the initial big number drop is boring. I mean, I am excited every Wednesday to step on the scale and lose like 1 pound but otherwise it really is boring. I wanted to blog and tell you how I am doing with this band and well, it's rather dull.

By the way, I don't know about most of you with the band before your first fill, but at this point I have no restriction whatsoever! It is hard to try and keep myself at around 1000-1100 calories. And really I think that it may be more than I need but I am starting to get a tad bit hungry.

I guess I am lucky, I am still losing and not gaining but my doctor scheduled me for my first fill at SEVEN weeks instead of six. He must be busy this week. This Wed. will make six weeks post op. I am jealous of any of you who gets your fill at this point.

I am worried that I will gain weight before my first fill. I want to feel full. I don't want to be scared that I am eating too fast or too much and I really worry about band slippage. But mostly, I am scared that I am losing interest in doing what I need to do simply because it is boring. So, MOTIVATE me to do something. I'd like to be under 200 lbs by the 12th of this month so that my doc will say good job!

........because I am a sucker for praise and attention...........

Ramblings of a mad, bald woman!

2009-10-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken a few days before my surgery.

I think this is the one that shows me looking my absolute worse. My face was soooo PUFFY! I haven't been taking any pics the last 5 wks. I am kinda lazy like that and well, I just hate full body pics. When I look in the mirror, I don't see FAT ASS Kristie, I see a smaller version of FAT ASS Kristie, still fat, just less fat as FAT ASS Kristie. Maybe I should have named my blog: FAT ASS Kristie. I will think about it while I type up this blog.

So, my family knows I chopped off my hair 2 or 3 wks ago because it started falling out after surgery. They asked me to email a pic of my new haircut because we live in different states so I took one today.

So this is my "I lost 25 lbs" pic of my face. See! My face looks more like what I see in the mirror (as if you'd know what I see but thats it! That is the face I've always seen!) My face definitly isn't puffy and yucky looking anymore.

I am not quite brave enough to take the full body pic. I weighed around 215 last year on my birthday and took a pic all dressed up to go to my husband's nephew's wedding and I cried because I looked 10-15 yrs older and I hated it! I swore that I would never look like that again and I would not be that big next birthday (which by the way is in 2 1/2 months!) So let's hope I am right! Here is my goal pic, what I want to look like again (cha, as if I'd EVER be 115 again! but actually I meant that I want to look happy like I do in this pic!).

What's Missing?

2009-09-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have been asking me recently (on another site where I blog), why did I decide to have Lap Band? Well, I have been suffering with severe insulin resistance for about 6 yrs. I have taken every kind of diabetic medication and then some. The insulin resistance has not helped me in the weight loss department, it has caused me to feel hungry and eat when I shouldn't have been eating and taking 2 different pills and 2 different insulins a day was just enough for me.

My mother passed away 4 yrs ago at the age of 48. She suffered from Diabetes Type I, hypothyroidism, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. When she was 31 yrs old, she had a triple bypass. Granted, she didn't take care of herself very well but 31 yrs old and having a triple bypass is enough to scare anyone into being healthier. She used to smoke more than a pack a day, she gave it up. We grew up in Louisiana on high fatty diets of stews and breads and rice, she gave it up. But diabetes didn't give up on her. High doses of Glucophage destroyed her kidneys over the years. She lost the weight but still suffered with hair loss, high blood glucose days, congestive heart failure (over and over), fluid build up, nerve damage in her feet, and in the end, hemoragging in the blood vessels behind her eyes. I took her to the doctor for surgery on her eyes twice in the last 12 months of her life.

My mom called me in November of 2004. She was in renal failure and after 17 yrs of surgeries and spending more time in the hospital than out, she told her doctor that she wasn't going to have any more surgeries. She cried, I cried, she made me promise not to tell any of my brothers. There are 6 of us, 5 boys and 1 girl. I am the second to oldest. My mom also told my oldest brother and my dad. None of the others were to know that she had chosen to live for a "limited time" after that.

I was really mad at her for making that decision. I didn't want her to die, I hadn't had any kids yet (still don't), I was planning on getting married the following October (ended up getting married the month after she told me), and well, it took us forever to get along and now that we were, she was going to leave me. When I got out of the Army in 1998, my mother and I spoke on the phone everyday. She'd send me emails all day long. Sometimes she'd stop by my house on the way home to see what I cooked so she could take some home with her.

The last time we all got to see my mom, together as a family, was for Easter 2005. About a week after that I was visiting my mom and she wasn't feeling well and in alot of pain so I helped my dad get her dressed so he could take her to the hospital. Did I mention I have an aversion to hospitals? I went visit her when they had her at the local hospital and then we left and they moved her into the next town. While there they decided to send her by helicopter to her heart doctor in Baton Rouge the next morning. My dad called and asked if I would go to the hospital in the morning. I was taking a full load at college at the time on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So I decided to skip school that day and go meet up with him at the hospital while they were waiting to transport her. When I got there, it was too foggy for the helicopter to fly her out (which would have been a less than 10 minute flight) so they decided to transport her by ambulance. I remember going in her room and talking to her and she had on an oxygen mask because they were getting ready to transport her. We left out of the room and I just remember my mom looking at us then she started to get a wild eyed look about her.

My dad, my mom's sister and I went out to the waiting room and my dad just got physically ill and kept saying he didn't have a good feeling and he called the main office where my brothers' worked (they are in construction all over southern Louisiana) and told them to get in touch with the jobsites and send all his sons to the hospital ASAP. That is when the doctor walked out of the room and told us that her BP had dropped and they were working on her. My mom's sister was a nurse, she started crying. My dad started freaking out but all I could do was sit there in shock and go what do you mean working on her?

I called my husband and told him to leave work and come to the hospital ASAP. They worked on my mom for about 25 minutes before the doctor came out and told us she was gone, my brothers all showed up about that time and well, it wasn't pretty. I am the one who got the info from the funeral home when they showed up. My husband drove my dad home, my brothers and all the other 50 family and friends that showed up at the hospital left and I went and planned my mom's funeral. So, I went to the funeral home and wrote my mom's obituary, I picked out her casket and prayer cards. I went to the flower shop in town and ordered a casket spray, I stopped at the church and found out the info on her mausoleum and scheduled the church for a Mass, I got the Bereavement Society on the line to ask that they help set up at my dad's house for my mother's funeral all before I got to go back with my family and grieve. I was 29 years old.

So all that is leading up to my reasons for Lap Band surgery. I started suffering with a lot of the things my mother suffered with. I worried about heart disease, did a stress test in July and I have an extremely healthy heart. Worried about complications of diabetes, so far no signs of damage to my eyes, kidneys or feet. Worried about never being able to have a baby because of diabetes. Too many worries for a 33 yr old woman with no children yet. I knew it was only a matter of time before the diabetes did it's damage, and the high cholesterol and blood pressure gave me a heart attack. I don't want to have open heart surgery in this lifetime, I don't want eye surgery, I don't want to go into renal failure from the high doses of Metaformin I was taking.

It took me two years to make the decision to have Lap Band and even on the day of my surgery I looked at my husband and said "what the hell am I doing?". I still question that even now, a month after surgery. I am still mad at my mother for leaving me, I miss her so much that I imagine what the hell she would be telling me for some of the things I do. I can here her saying "Kristie Lyn!" Because what mother doesn't use your middle name as if your first and middle are just one word? I have a tote of her clothes (she was so small I can't wear them but they smell like her) and I just sit in my closet sometimes and open it up and I can smell her perfume and it makes me miss her even more.

I decided to write this when I opened up a box of old stuff the other day and was going through old letters and pictures and I came across a card that said "Miss you..." on the outside and on the inside it said "...a whole bunch!" and then there was a letter from my mom in it. She sent it to me when I was in the Army but finding that card was like my mom's way of saying: It's ok to miss me, I miss you too! I put it on my fridge and whenever I miss her I look at it and I know she misses me too and I had Lap Band so that I can live and enjoy this life before I get to move on to the next one to be with her again.

Not everything good for you, tastes good...

2009-09-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged in the last 5 days and just want to update you all. I had a bad week last week. It was that time of the month, I felt like I was starving the all the way up until last night, and I didn't lose any weight last week. Lo and behold, the day after it's over I lose a pound! Go figure.

So I have been trying to find things that are a healthier option than what I have been eating. Less fat, less carbs, high in protein. So I found Morning Star Farms Sausage crumbles. LOVE THEM! 2/3 of a cup and a 1/2 cup of EggBeaters and you got yourself a great breakfast omelet. Well I figured since the sausage crumbles were so great that I'd try the Morning Star Chicken strips. Blah! They don't taste like chicken at all. They taste like someone dumped soy powder on them. Maybe if I use them to make a chicken taco then cover it up with like a ton of salsa or something they might taste ok, but I won't be buying them anymore. Gross Gross Gross!

I have been doing the treadmill thing about every other day, walking/jogging for 30 minutes. Looked at my spark minutes and figured if I did an hour a day I could burn about 3500 calories a week. Today I made it for 45 minutes, so I am getting there even though I only walked today. I think I am doing pretty darn good. Some people tell me they couldn't do this much at this point. I think I should be doing better but my butt is outta shape and I will admit, a tad bit LAZY!

So, who is ready for the Biggest Loser this week? I can't wait! I tape it so that when I walk on my treadmill I can watch it. It also helps me walk longer since the show is 2 hrs long. I also hate sitting through commercials so I tape everything! Thank god for DVR's!

So my official weight today is 209! 10 more pounds and I will be in the 100's again! Total weight lost this year: 25 pounds!

Mish Mash of stuff

2009-09-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

This morning I got up with Cody, pushed him out the door and got on my treadmill. I taped The Biggest Loser and got to walk/run on my treadmill while watching it. I love, love, love that show! I would so volunteer to be on that show if it wasn't for the whole "it being on tv" and the whole "weigh-ins with a sports bra and stretch shorts to show all the world my big fatty ass and stomach and stretch marks".

I mean seriously, they weigh them in behind the scenes then insult the poor people by putting them on a cow scale, half naked with all their embarrassment for the world to see. I feel for them. I know how they feel.

But I still love the show! I love that these people believe that someone is MAKING them do something to lose the weight. It is so Army. No one can make you do anything, you can quit whenever you want but I understand. It is easier to believe that someone made you do it until you realize that you have it in you all along!

So I jogged like a total of 15 minutes today along with walking 15 minutes. I walked 5 mins to warm up, then jogged 5 mins, traded off every 5 mins and ended my treadmill session after 30 minutes. Ate a great breakfast of a 1/2 cup of EggBeaters with 2/3 cup of MorningStar Farms Sausage Crumbles (totally vegan but tastes like Sausage), 1/4 cup of greek yogurt with a half cup of pineapple chunks and ground cinnamon! It tasted great. It was a rather large meal for just around 230 calories.

I haven't seen Grey's Anatomy yet, will do that in the morning while I am on the treadmill. It is kinda nice when it's early in the morning and everyone but myself and the dogs are gone, so the house is quiet.

Went to Cody's school today to do my first day of volunteering. Wow, so not used to be around small kids. They make me nervous, I stood there with 22 kids staring at me while I nervously smiled and fidgeted. Little Children of the Corn looks........Maybe it's just my imagination, maybe I just stay up too late at night watching SciFi........anywho...

In my mind, it's kind of like the zoo. You can look but don't touch or feed the kids. I got to staple hundreds of sheets of construction paper into booklets. The teacher felt awkward about having someone helping her as she has never had any parent help before. She used to work in the Jr. High before coming to Elementary school. She kept asking if I was ok and kept thanking me. I think I had it pretty much under control.

Stacks of large sheets of construction paper, check!
Stapler, check!
Being able to fold the paper in half and staple it, check!

When I was done, I left and ran into the PTO assistant President or whatever her title was and had like a half hour conversation with her through her passenger side and my driver's side window as we were parked next to each other and it was raining. We shared our woes and the fact that we are new to the area so we both volunteered to make friends and get to know people.

I really need a job! Not for money but for friends. I have been living in Houston for nearly 3 yrs now and my only friend is my neighbor Sally who lives 20 ft away from me. We communicate by email late at night. Lovely. My husband just doesn't understand how interacting with people on a daily basis, even if they are your co workers, is more exciting then staying home and talking to my dogs all day.

Well I am off, I will be getting up early to push Cody out the door so I can do my treadmill thingy and start making my grocery list. I am sending Cody to school with his own lunch tomorrow. I am saving on Cody's lunches because those communists at school says I have to pay for a foster child's lunches.......just wait until my time comes for the appeal people! I want a refund of what you made me pay. Well, just that secretary who told me all that crap the other day. Take it out of her snooty paycheck.

P.S. Who, around Houston, just loved this cool weather we have been having the past few days? I love it so much!

One month Post Op ALREADY!

2009-09-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well today makes one month ago that I had Lap Band surgery. I thought I'd be excited but today is my first weekly weigh in where I lost NO WEIGHT. (insert frowny face here) I have been doing good though. A lot of Lap Banders have told me that when you start getting to eat regular food again, you normally gain before your first fill. I have been on regular food for a little over 2 wks and lost 2 lbs during those 2 wks. It's only this week that the scale will not move for me.

But on a happy note, I did not gain any weight either. So I maintained! I had a really bad day Saturday eating stuff that I shouldn't have eaten but I learned, I moved on.

I also feel much better now that I made the decision to quit writing my sister in law who is in jail. She accused me of not letting her know what was going on with her son in one of her last letters to me. I normally wrote to her about only Cody, because I never felt any sympathy for her or even liked her to begin with. So why would I write to her about anything other than her son? So now it is up to Cody to let his mom in on what is happening to him and he is 11 so he doesn't really like writing all that much. I figure this will make her appreciate the fact that I always kept her in the loop before.

My husband and I have decided that his crazy sister will argue and go against us for anything we ask of her. So we won't ask anymore. When she gets out of jail, we will not help her monetarily to find a place to live. Or replace her belongings that she lost because they threw out her stuff that was in the place she rented. She is on her own. I know that is harsh but she is fighting us on the fact that we can take care of her son and give him a place to live and help him in school. She thinks it is all ME just plotting to take away her child. I don't want to take away her child, I want to give him a LIFE which he never had. She is more than welcome to be in that life if only she chooses to do so.

So that is my thoughts for today, Cody is home now and it is time to help with homework and get the leftovers ready for dinner tonight. (yay for leftovers!) I am off! Oh, now I have 15 followers.............15!!!! Yahoo!

Taking Pride in your Work

2009-09-22T07:21:00.000-07:00

This morning it is pouring down raining here in Houston. The weather really looks awful. I got up and took my nephew to choir practice which made me kinda happy because I didn't have to park down at the front of the street and wait for the bus with him.

So I am home, and sitting in my home office watching it rain outside of my window and I hear the garbage truck coming down the street a few mins ago. I go peek out the window of my front door and I see the garbage man get off the back of the truck in his raingear, walk over to my trashcan, remove the cover, walk back to the truck, dump out my garbage, then walk back over to my driveway and turn the trashcan upside down so it won't fill up with water from the rain. Wow! I am so profoundly touched that this man working in the pouring down rain, who will probably have to work in the rain all day today, would do a simple act that would make someone else's life a little easier.

Is it a job requirement? Is it an honest act of goodness? I don't know but it doesn't matter, I think I will put a goodie basket together for the holidays and give it to them if I am able to catch them one morning. They deserved to be thanked for a job that most of us would turn up our nose at, and doing it in such a thoughtful manner. (I've had to find my trashcan on numerous occasions in other neighbors yards when I lived in other places because they would get tossed 2 houses down sometimes!).

What do you think about this?

Whirlwind of things happening

2009-09-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't blogged in quite a few days. I have been busy helping my nephew with his school stuff and doing things for my family. One thing that we did do, is finally get out of the house this weekend and went bowling. I loved it, even though I am not a good bowler!

So here is what has been happening. I have decided not to write to my sister in law anymore. She doesn't deserve my time, I really am quite tired of her stressing me with her selfish ways. I have eaten poorly the last few days. Not because I was even hungry but simply because I saw food, so I ate it.

Today (Monday) I figured to counteract the bad foods I ate today, I'd do the liquid diet for breakfast and lunch to keep me on track. I also walked/jogged for 30 minutes on my treadmill. I am not saying I jogged fast, just jogged LOL. I did a total of 1.62 miles! Yay for me because last week I was only doing 1.1 miles on the treadmill for 30 minutes.

I have been contemplating home schooling my nephew. He has mentioned it once in an essay he wrote. The essay was about his favorite place which he says is home. (he means my home) He says in his essay that he would like to be at home and have his aunt home school him. I will have to talk to my neighbors because they home school their kids. I thought it would be easy but apparently you need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what the heck they are talking about when you go to the websites that are supposed to tell you how to do that here in Houston. Arggh!
I know it really can't be that hard to get started.

I will see how this first 9 wks goes for his report card. If he does fair well in school then I will keep him there but if he starts to falter then I will see about home schooling him. I really do not agree with placement testing. They gave his class an assessment test Friday and on the test for Math they had graphs. It was not something they covered this year and he made a 60. Well that 60 has been added as a major grade for his report card. His average went from a 96 to a 78 with that one test! It can really frustrate a child who is trying his best. He came home and asked me if I was mad, but I am not mad. I told him that we would practice graphs tonight after he finished his homework. Poor little guy, I am sure he will get the hang of it!

Well I am off, just figured I'd update my blog. Not much really going on!

Stupid School, Stupid Rule!

2009-09-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well, for you real parents out there, I am really starting to understand why parents get fed up! I used to think that some parents were just greedy gremlins with the my child has this, that and the other but now I realized that I was wrong.

My nephew is currently back with us for a third time. This will be a 3rd school year for us to deal with. So, me being a pro at this by now, filled out all the paperwork I needed to fill out for one who only has a power of attorney to send a kid to school.

Took 3 mths but finally starting getting Medicaid for Cody. For those of you who haven't ever taken on a child who is not yours and you do not have legal custody of, here is a little newsflash. You cannot put them on your insurance. Insurance is expensive. Kids are normally sick more than you. You need to have insurance on a kid! So hence; the Medicaid. Doing good so far, right?

Well, I filled out his free lunch application. He has recieved free lunches the other times he lived with us. We cannot claim him on our taxes because we don't have custody of him right, and therefore we are not rewarded or reimbursed our expenses with this child. On the application, as I was instructed by the school, I checked off he was a foster child. One month has passed and I am still paying for his lunches. Call food services today and they say "Oh well it's been flagged because he has the same last name as you. So I explain our situation and she says it doesn't matter. So I ask if there is any way that I can submit a letter to explain the situation and she says no there is not and it wouldn't matter anyway. So I ask if there is anyone else I can speak to and she says no there is not. (Insert Biznach!)

I went back to the food service website and found that if I do not agree with their ruling I have the right to appeal in front of a board. Wow, did nto get that info from Ms. Smarty Pants 5 minutes ago on the phone. I will be writing her boss a letter to explain the situation and hoping that I get something, even reduced lunches out of this. Lunches and breakfast cost approximatly $55.00 a month, and if Cody were our child, this would not be a problem because come tax time, we'd be reimbursed. I really don't think it is fair to expect me to pay hundreds of dollars for a child who is considered fostered and I am not even being paid for it! I love Cody, and I will continue to pay for his B & L's at school or send him to school with a meal I consider healthier for him anyway because I love him. And because I love him I will write a letter of appeal because I believe that Cody deserves to be on free/reduced meals at school so that I can use the money to buy him clothes and shoes and things he needs.

The only reason they flagged the stupid application was because our last names were the same. He is not my child. He is not my husbands child. How stupid is that?

I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain Is Gone!

2009-09-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well let me tell yall what's been happening the last few days. First off, I am Cody's Class Mom! I went to the meeting yesterday morning and met the other 50 Class Mom's at our first meeting. At this school, this is their first year with the Class Mom project. We seem to have a lot on our plate to set this up for whoever wants to do it next year and do it successfully! I am really excited to start. I want to be at Cody's school where he knows that I care and I know what is going on in his classroom.

Now, day before yesterday, I was in the shower. I was washing my hair when it came out in handfulls. I am not talking about 10 or 20 pieces of hair, I am talking HANDFULLS! I knew it was coming, I had already been forewarned that my body would go through this after surgery like everyone else, I just didn't think it would be all at once. I thought it would be gradual. I was told that it will grow back, I just need to keep taking vitamins, keep eating protein.

I decided I did not want to be one of those chics who has long hair that you can see straight through.(I saw one at the surgeon's office who was 9mths post op from gastric bypass) I won't be Miss Wraparound Hair! So, I went to the salon and had my hair cut in a pixie cut. It would probably be cuter if I was skinny but I needed something that made the hair loss LESS noticeable. I am not sorry I did it, I know it is just hair. Besides, the hair I had cut off was yucky hair from when I took 9 medications a day and it needed to go. I am sure my hair will grow back healthier without all the medications, since I do not take them anymore (yay!).

I have been gaining and losing the same 2 lbs for a week now since last Wednesday. I was afraid that I had already plateaued but this morning I stepped on the scale and bam! another pound lost from last weeks weigh in! Woohoo! I am so proud of my friend Joyce, she has steadily been losing 1-2 lbs everytime she weighs in. Although she may not see the horizon yet, she is well on her way to her goals and I am so happy for her! I admire her for so many things.

Well I am off, hope you other banders are doing well! I get my first fill on Oct 12th at 8:30a.m. Can't wait! Hope it doesn't hurt!

Let Me Clear my Throat!

2009-09-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was kinda hungry so I put some peanut butter on a slice of bread and was slowly chewing it. I got down the first bite and it got stuck! Stuck as in I could not breathe! I had to lean over the trashcan and make myself vomit which is funny because my stomack is the size of my thumb so there isn't anything in there except a freaking bite of bread! Got it out and it seemed to cure my hunger because I didn't want to choke to death while everyone was sleeping.

We Can't All Come and Go By Bubble!

2009-09-12T18:10:00.000-07:00

So, today I am trying to make it to my 100 grams of protein. I got up to about 80. I will have to start adding protein powder to all of my food because there is just NO WAY without eating so much food. I am at about 900 calories so far today. I am trying to keep it low. My new motto is "under 1000". I am afraid as soon as I let go of that motto the overeating will begin. I wanted to go hit Mickey D's so badly today. Instead I read a book.

My husband came home and brought in the mail. For those of you who don't know, we are raising his nephew who was severely neglected before he came to live with us. I have been doing so much to ensure he has a healthy environment to live in. I am even going beyond my comfort zone to ensure it! I am going to be his Class mom which means I will be interacting with kids which is something that I don't do on a regular basis.

So back to the mail, it was a letter from Cody's mom. His mother is in jail. I have been writing to her and she writes back pretending that she doesn't get my letters or won't answer anything that I asked her.

I had a breakdown, I told her how I felt in my last letter. I don't want him living back with her. She put him on prescription drugs (at the highest doses) that he didn't need so she could put him in special education and get a check every month from the state. He doesn't need the medication. He hasn't been on it since he moved us with us on July 2nd. He scored 3rd grade level and failed the 4th grade last school year. I had him put in 5th grade here and have been tutoring him enough for him to have all A's and a B average in his classes so far this year.

In her letter to me she says, and it is underlined for emphasis: I will not give you full custody of Cody. I want my son back.

Understandable for a mother who loves her kid but she has never wanted him before she went to jail. He lived with us for two school years, moved back in with his mother last March when she figured out she could get a shady doctor to put him on these meds and then the state would pay her $600+ for him. She has called every month after he moved back in last year for us to come get him everytime they had a 3 day weekend, or holidays from school or summer because in her words she "could not afford him to live with her, couldn't take care of him, or couldn't buy him nothing for Christmas so come get him."

Now she cannot bear to be without him? I don't think so. She knows that as soon as she gets out she will not have any money and he is her paycheck. I cried so hard today. Why can't women like this who bear children they do not care for ( I am not saying do not want or do not love because I do believe in her own misguided way she does love and want him) do what is best for their child?

If he goes with her, they will be hopping from friend's house, to house, to house sleeping on sofa's or the floor. He will only be able to take what he can fit in one plastic tote which is all he had when I picked him up this time. She will not, even when she can afford it, buy him clothes, underwear, personal hygiene items or shoes. Her excuse one time, when she asked us for money and I told her not to buy cigarettes for one week and she would be able to buy him new shoes, was that it was too hard to quit smoking. She could not do it. Who doesn't love their child enough to quit smoking or cut down for one week to buy him some Wal Mart shoes?

We are not exactly rich over here. I bought Cody a new wardrobe for school for $100.00 off the sales and clearance racks at Wal Mart when he moved in with us. If I would have been his mother I am sure I wouldn't have had to spend that much because I would have bought over time what he needed but he needed these things ASAP when he moved in with us.

I told her he was so behind in school because he never did homework when she had him. Her excuse in her letter today, "I can't make him do homework if he doesn't bring anything home. Besides the teachers played a part in not teaching him." WHAT? Let me tell you, Cody played that game ONE time with me and his butt was punished so quick he never did it again. I am not even his mother, so it's not like I feel comfortable using corporal punishment on him.

My blog may be all discombobulated and my thoughts everywhere but how can I put into words what she told me on the first page of her letter, with all the blame placed on others of course, THEN she turned around with her crazy bipolar self (I don't know if she really is I'm just saying)and said thank you for watching my kid, can he stay with yall for the whole school year or do you want me to come get him right away? Arghhh! I hope they throw the book at her on her court date. She is a freaking nut!

I will have to hire a lawyer before she gets out of jail and get emergency custody of him for now. I really don't have the money to spend and thought she would say to herself "my child has a better life than I can provide or am willing to provide for him. I don't really want to take care of him and called them all the time to take him so this is my out!" But no, now that she is in jail I am figuring she thinks she needs to be a good mama now!

I am hoping that this doesn't make me go all piggy and ruin my weight loss. I just needed to vent. She is an idiot and I am glad that she has no source of income because I plan to keep this kid whether she willingly signs the paperwork or I have the entire family go to court and testify against her. I will start calling lawyers on Monday. I am not the big meanie she portrays me to be, but I won't have Cody on drugs and failing school on my conscience anymore. Thanks for hearing my ranting and raving today. If I didn't have my blogs I don't know what I would do. It helps so much to put it down into words!

Ugghh! Blahh! Aaack!

2009-09-11T08:03:00.001-07:00

Well Dr. W,
You gave me permission to move onto soft foods for the next 4-5 days and then on to whole foods. Your reasoning sounded great. Quit the liquids and get used to eating whole foods the right way so that when you fill my band, I will get a full feeling eating the whole foods. The liquids will pass through too quickly so quit them now that I am healed. Sounds good in theory right? Oh I took that permission and ran with it. I left your office at 9am and met up with my husband, stepdaughter and granddaughter and ate scrambled eggs at Denny's. Not too bad. Then last night we went to a pizza place. I had only good intentions but ate all the meat toppings off of my slice of pizza........then helped myself to 3 chicken wings. Well, I learned my lesson after choking on it. Perhaps someone, somewhere said those magical words "oh yeah, I hope you choke on it" and then it floated over my head and gave me the luck of doing just that. I didn't choke per say but it got stuck and with wide eyed panic I got up and ran to the bathroom where I spit out a ton of saliva that my mouth was producing to help it slide down. (in hindsight perhaps I shouldn't have spit it out but I was FREAKING man!) In total, I had about 1000 calories. Not much and mostly protein but my body has been only getting half that for a month. It held on to every stinking thing I put in it yesterday. I gained 2 lbs in one day, which I am sure by tomorrow will be gone but sure doesn't feel good. I know Dr. W said that I shouldn't worry if I gain some weight back because I haven't had a fill yet but I don't want to gain any weight back. I worked hard all last year and didn't get down to this weight so I definitly don't want to go back up. So Dr. W, just wanted to let you know that first thing in the morning, I got on my treadmill and walked and jogged as hard as I could for 30 minutes. I will try again tonight because I never want to see that scale go back up like that in one day again! I know I was weak but sometimes that happens and we are only human so I will not beat myself up anymore than I have. Sincerly, Hungry Woman!

Pics 9-11-09

2009-09-11T05:55:00.000-07:00

Today Cody tries out for drum ensemble at school. Good luck Cody! Our granddaughter visited yesterday. I took her see the monkeys at Gallery Furniture (we didn't know they had monkeys!) while her grandpa and mommy looked at stuff for her parents new home! What a gift to be able to spend time with her yesterday. She is just so sweet! She kept saying, "Uh oh, what happened?" it was so cute. I miss her already, I kept telling her to tell her mommy to let her sleep at our house! haha

I got a Job! (kinda)

2009-09-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

So Cody comes home today with a letter. Dear Mrs. T you have been elected to be our Homeroom Class Mom. Yay! I actually wanted to be the H.C.M. so it worked out perfectly. So I tell Cody, "Hey it says I will be your Class Mom" and he smacks his head and says "Please, please, please don't embarrass me!" Hehe insert evil grin and hands rubbing together, "who moi?"

I am pretty stoked about it. I really want and need to be involved with what's going on with him. After he left my care at the beginning of last year, his grades went to kuput. His mom didn't make him go to school, didn't make him do his homework and just basically didn't do anything for him that needed to be done or made to do. He is such a good kid and a big helper around the house.

He failed the 4th grade back with his mom last school year but when he moved in with us I talked to the school and we put him in 5th grade. I signed up on the school website to be able to view the teachers assignments and her gradebook on what they do in class and guess what? He is nearly at a 4.0 average. All A's in most of his classes with one high B score in Health. I knew it was poor parenting. I am hoping for a report card with A's and B's when the time comes around. Trust me, it's not easy but I don't give him the answers. We have a 3 subject "practice" notebook that I put math problems in for him to work out everyday. I make him read to me for 30 minutes out loud everyday and then ask him questions about what he read. (I also found out I have this great talent of being able to read other stuff while he reads to me and still be able to know when he mispronounces words and actually remember what he read to me.) If I had the patience for a classroom full of kids, the ability to deal with Algebra without my head exploding, and the drive to go back to college for the next 4 or 5 yrs, I'd become a teacher.

So now that I have bragged enough about myself and my nephew, on to more exciting news. My stepdaughter is coming tomorrow with the grandbaby for their first visit to our house here in Houston. Yay! Hopefully they make it a regular trip so we can see the little potato more often. I will post pics after I get to see her. Well peeps, I am off. Today was not so crazy as yesterday but I am still not liking those HEB pharmacy girls!

Things that pissed me off today!

2009-09-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

1.) I missed breakfast today. :(
2.) Freaking forgot to buy plain yogurt at the grocery store today. S%@T!
3.) I hate the pharmacy girls at HEB, they act like they don't see you standing 2 feet away from them waiting for some freaking customer service. I had to switch out my milk last time b/c they made me wait so long! I am switching to Walgreens. Bite me pharmacy girls!
4.) Tons of crap that the schools dump off on the parent. My worst nightmare this week: Cookie Dough Fundraiser......are you kidding me!? Arghhhh!
5.) Yet another letter from my sister in law, who is in jail, whose child is living with me! I guess they must put something in the food b/c she gets a little dumber each time she writes me with her delusions of how great of a mom she is.
6.) People who don't use freaking blinkers, use them people! The big ass Ford F 150 behind you is me and I'd appreciate a little forewarning!
7.) The heat. Period.
8.) People who say "Well if you were having problems you could have called me" except they never answer their phone.
9.) Anyone who pushes their beliefs on me. Trust me, I read.......ALOT. I used to work for a newspaper, I am pretty good at keeping up with current events, I am well informed and have at the age of 33, formed my own opinons which I keep to myself and not push on you. If I don't want my nephew watching Obama at school then that's my perogative. I served 8 yrs in the Army and fought for your rights, quit trying to take away mine.
10.) Anyone who will comment on this blog and try to explain to me why I should have let my nephew watch Obama. If you skipped over number 9, read it again. If you don't get it, then look up at the title of my blog. If you still don't get it, don't comment.

And that's my rant people.

Finally!

2009-09-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

So glad after 4 days that Cody has gone back to school, and the husband back to work! They drive me nuts if they are home for more than 24 hours. Cody came home last Thursday telling me he didn't feel well, so I immediately took his temperature (with visions of swine flu) and it was 99.9. So even though I "big" sighed inside my head, I medicated him to death and washed and Lysol-ed everything down in the house. He got to stay home from school on Friday and since they had Monday off, he got a 4 day weekend while I got no peace. Of course by Saturday he felt GREAT. Thank you God for giving me 8 hours a day to myself by inventing school.

Battling Emotional Eating: Lap Band don't fix everything!

2009-09-07T12:53:00.001-07:00

I knew already that Lap Band is a tool, what I want to tell all of you who haven't had the surgery yet is that it does not "FIX" anything. It is just a tool to help you along the way. How do I know, it's only been a few days and I have been struggling with everyday stress and wanting to eat so badly. It really would be so easy to get in my truck and drive down to any fast food place and get something that I could chew to death and swallow. Today I cooked a healthy turkey chili for the boys and the smell is just killing me. I want to go eat a few bites. Instead I put on my workout clothes, yelled at my husband for changing the channel (Hey, you are EATING I am NOT!) and walked on my treadmill while watching some mind numbing football game on TV that I don't even care about, to take my mind off of food. I have to learn just like all of you future banders will learn, how to control the emotions when you have to cook for your family. They aren't the ones who chose to be deprived, I made that decision for myself. I do pray for a little more understanding but whether I will get it or not is another story. So, after 2 rough days I put myself back on the liquid diet and will hold off until next week to go back to real food as much as I can. Sounds like I am a big pig but I am literally eating less than 600 calories a day.

Lap Band Surgery: taken from my earlier blogs

2009-09-07T12:31:00.001-07:00

Saturday, September 05, 2009
I have been dealing with some temptation the past 2 days with food. I really really want things that A.) is not recommended I eat during my healing time B.) things I should stay away from b/c they made me fat in the first place! I broke down and ate a slice of bread with peanut butter and jelly last night. Oh it was so good! Oh I felt like I was going to choke on it! So today I said I will go back to basics. Atkins shake for breakfast. I have my 20 oz bottle of water sitting next to me. Just got off the treadmill about a half hour ago and I walked 25 minutes at 2.6mph. So I know it is slow but the stitches where the port's at is still pulling a bit and I didn't want to overdo it. I turned up MTV and watch Beyonce "All the Single Ladies!" Makes me want to shake my groove thing, yeah yeah! I love that video. I want to be able to have a set of legs and hips like that girl! Oh yeah, and to be able to shake it like her! Woohoo! And on another channel it was all Nelly Furtado songs so I had a great time singing along and walking on the treadmill. I cleared the living room for myself because no one wants to hear me sing but that's ok, I had a good time. I hope something is good on MTV tomorrow.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

I am hungry today by the way. I found myself shopping the shelves of my pantry and fridge today. Somehow I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I have been eating about 2 oz of soft meat the last 2 days because I feel that I am ready for it. It's actually sardines. Some of you will say eww but it is a great source of protein and omega 3. It's not like I am saying "oh yummy, sardines tonight!" but I am realistic that the taste will actually stimulate my taste buds while killing the urge to eat everything in sight. I am not saying it will work for you guys, but for me, it's enough. Well I lost a pound today, my body is weird. It is starting to say "300-400 calories a day! Are you kidding me!" and retaining water then letting it go. I am hopeful that when I do get to eat I am not hogging it down like a pig. I am off to feed the husband now that he is home, hope you guys are spared the flu in your households!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009
I went to Wal Mart to pick up a few things today. I picked up things like tuna and sardines for when my pureed diet begins. So after checking out I had to pass by the McDonald's on the way out. I wanted to go get a hamburger and just chew it up for taste and spit it out but I did not. I am not hungry for it. I just miss my daily fast food addiction. Since I just got my Lap Band and people have been following my posts everyday I have been getting emails asking about some things that they are embarrassed to post. So I will try to answer it the best way I can, because I only had surgery 8 days ago! "When they do the surgery and put in the Lap Band, do they leave anything outside the body to use to fill and unfill the band" No, everything was put inside of my body. The band is put around the top portion of the stomach to make a small pouch. There is a tube that extends down about a foot long to a small port. This is put under the muscle in the abdomen (not everyone gets it in the same place) mine is above and off to the left of my belly button. You cannot see it poking out from under the skin, you have to press down hard to even feel it. The port is where the doctor will fill and unfill the band. "After they put in the band, does your hunger immediately go away?" No. I would have to say that the habit of eating has ruled my life for so long that I am still learning when I really am hungry and when I am just wanting to eat something. So far, so good. It is not the same for everybody. I am not hungry for things, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't still eat it. It is a re-learning experience and it will not be a pleasant or easy one for most. "How much weight will I lose?" I don't know. I had the surgery, I lost 2 lbs a day the first five days, then 1 lb a day on day 6 and 7. This morning no weight loss. It will differ for everyone. P.S. I am not a doctor, I can't give you advice on what to do for yourself, I can only answer from what my experience has been so far! Good luck to all the banders and future banders out there!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009
So yesterday started off pretty well. I felt well enough to drive so I decided to drive to the GNC store to get more Isopure. Well, the dietician told me they had a GNC store on a road near my home(in Houston). I drove all over that road and never saw it. I guess I didn't have the right directions to the bat cave it was hidden in. So I drove down another road in the next town intending on going to an HEB where they carry it in the bottles, when I saw a GNC shoved up in the very corner of a strip mall. I went in to by like 4 bottles which I figured would cover the rest of my liquid diet in conjuction with Atkins Shakes and protein powder. So I ask the guy where's the Isopure and he proceeds to try to sell me the powder which I could live off for the rest of my life for like 80 bucks. I told him I only needed 4 bottles of it. He tried to convince me that the powder is cheaper. So I asked him how much the 4 bottles were (20.00). So I said all I need is 4 bottles, how do you figure 80.00 is cheaper than 20.00? I guess he didn't know I haven't eaten real food in a few weeks. I haven't exactly been Mrs. Pleasant lately. Yesterday around noon I started feeling like I had a golf ball stuck in my throat. I tried clearing it and then it kinda felt like a stuck burp so I took Gas X. Nothing worked and I swore if it continued I would call the surgeon. I kept reading Lap Band blogs all over the internet and alot of people kept mentioning to drink something warm so I tried that (well kinda lukewarm I didn't want to hurt my stitches) and it finally seemed to help it go away. I have been feeling kinda tired although yesterday I finally had more than enough protein and water. I guess, since I never had surgery, I just didn't realize how long it would take to really heal from something like this. But I do hope that any other surgery that I have is as pain free as this one. My husband and I are always sitting around making up stuff and laughing and so we were looking at the cuts on my belly and I was telling my husband how they didn't really hurt and he comes up with "You got a placebo". So we clowned around with the idea that I didn't really get a band, just the thought put in my head, so I am really just starving myself on my own. (boy if that was true the insurance sure would be mad to be charged so much!) So we got a much needed laugh out of it. I guess I am not the only one who got this surgery because I couldn't do it on my own, but now after a few days I am wondering if I really could have? I guess it is only human to wonder right? Well I am off to watch B moves on SciFi to entertain myself.

Sunday, August 30, 2009
Today is the first day that I didn't need my husband to help me out of any chairs or the bed. The tenderness is slowly going away on the left side although the pulling on the cut is probably what makes me favor that side more. The gas is finally passing on it's own and not building up anymore (yay!). Note to some, even if you send your husband to the store with the exact name of the exact thing that you need they will come home with the wrong thing. I sent him to the store for Atkins Advantage Shake and what he came home with was a 55.00 box of protein shake mix that was too high in carbs in fat. And of course he did not want to go return it. I had to get dressed and make him take me to the store to return it and then point out the stuff I needed (which he said wasn't there when he looked yesterday). So I got 20 minutes of walking in while showing my husband what I needed. Did I mention that I am allergic to adhesive tape? No? Well I found this out a few weeks ago when do all my testing leading up to surgery. So on surgery day I had a little red bracelet that said to not use plastic tape to use paper tape. My husband and I have been covering my cuts with the band aid like bandages and finally just took them off yesterday from the redness and itchiness to let the steri strips just do their job. I am fascinated by the feel of the steri strip. Weird. How does this glue hold me together without coming undone? The good news is I can tell that four of my cuts will not have scars or will be so tiny you will not be able to see them. The larger one is nicely lined up so I am betting a very thin scar. I am not one to be afraid of scars, Lord knows I have so many from growing up with 5 brothers. I am already conjuring up cool battle scar stories for it. I was a little tired today, I think I caught up on alot of sleep that I have been missing out on the past few days (due to gas!). So my healing is going good, tomorrow I will be husband and kid free for a few hours which I really need! I think my husband does better at the office then loading a dishwasher. Gotta make my follow up appt with my surgeon. I seem to be losing about 2 lbs a day since surgery so I need to really buckle down and try harder to get all the required amount of nutrients that I need daily b/c I think that is just too fast although I AM on a liquid diet still. If I am still losing weight too fast after that I will call the doc and dietician and see what's up.

Saturday, August 29, 2009
Oh my, is it polite as a woman to talk about gas? I tell you, I have been having trapped gas and it has been horrible! I can't even sleep at night for more than an hour without getting up and having to walk around from the gas under my ribs! I've gone through more than a half of box of Gas X and I am thinking it's not working too well. I only had clear liquids up to today so I am not sure what is going on. I tried the Isopure today. It has a weird aftertaste to it. I am thinking of making my jello with it. Anyone tried that? Let me know how it turned out. Well, I hope that you guys who are waiting to be banded don't have the trouble with gas that I have been having, I guess I am just one of the lucky ones! LOL

Friday, August 28, 2009
It's day three post op and I got to take my first shower. Thank goodness because my hair was so gross. Turned the water down really low and got in and out in 2 minutes. Took my bandages off started feeling quesy so laid down while my husband finished taking off the big bandages and putting more on. The cuts are relativly tiny except for the big 2 inch one on the left side. Don't know why I had to look at it. So I am getting around a little better today but still hurting on the left side. I actually turned a little over onto my right side to sleep this morning. I miss sleeping on my side. I have been laying on my back sleeping because it wasn't comfortable before. The gas is still there, I guess I will just suffer with it a little longer than most but since I walk alot I am sure that it will go away eventually. Good luck to all you guys wanting to get the band. I am sure that it will go just as easy for you as it seems to be going for me.

Thursday, August 27, 2009
Well my surgery went well. I went in at 6a.m. and got the IV. My iron has been low so I passed out a little bit when they poked me in the hand with it. Got my Heparin shot, had about 10 different people come in my room at various times to tell me what was going to happen. At 7:30a.m. the surgeon came in, they wheeled me down the hallway after putting the anesthesia in my IV. I don't remember even making it to the operating room. The next thing I remember they woke me up in recovery at 10:30a.m. I was shaking so they covered me in pre-warmed blankets and made me stand up and sit in a wheelchair where they preceeded to roll me to where I had to do the barium swallow test so they could take a picture of my stomach. After that I was rolled over to my room where my husband was waiting. I had to wait awhile to be discharged but I went to the bathroom on my own and walked a bit. They gave me liquid Lortab for pain. It's mostly tender just on the left side. I also got prescriptions for two other meds to prevent ulcers and gallstones. I have to say, the gas under the ribs and in the chest is unbearable. I took a total of 3 Gas X chewables between the time I got home yesterday and 2:20 a.m. Sleeping with my CPAP has definitly helped because I have to breath deeply and that is very important in the healing process. I am supposed to walk every 2 hrs but have been walking a bit every hour. It helps to keep the gas from building up to intolerant levels. Small tiny sips for everything, I made the mistake of taking a normal sip and totally felt it. Suprisingly, none of the cuts hurt. They're five all together. Only where they moved my liver is tender and not in a way that is bad or painful. My husband definitly has to help me out of the bed or get out of the chair because I have no abdominal muscle control to pull myself upright now. I am not feeling as bad as yesterday but yesterday wasn't really bad to start off with. Just the gas. I will let everyone know more later. Thanks for all the well wishers and the prayers!

Liquid Diet Hell: Excerpts of an earlier blog

2009-09-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 17, 2009
Well, had a appt with the surgeon this morning. Started my liquid Pre-op diet today. It consists of about 700 calories a day for the next 10 days. I am hungry already but trying not to think about it. Between Atkins protein shakes, steamed green veggies and chicken broth all I am thinking is "HAMBURGER, HAMBURGER, HAMBURGER!" So wish me luck, I am going to have to go see my Primary care doc this week to get a liquid replacement for my Metaformin (horse sized) pills. The surgeon and dietician say that my BG levels should go down and maybe even have to quit taking insulin being on this restricted diet. I will have to keep an eye on it!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Last night was the worse. I couldn't sleep I was SOOOOOOOOOOO HUNGRY! I kept going look at all the food in my fridge and pantry. I wanted so bad to eat! I am hungry. I woke up today not so hungry but I could still go for a sandwich. I feel so lethargic today. I am so tired. I don't know how I am going to do this for 9 more days! This is how a crackhead must feel when they are having withdrawals. I wish I could think of other things but food but it is so hard not to think of food especially when I have to feed my husband and nephew. I had to lay down last night in my bedroom while they were eating dinner so I wouldn't have to think about, see or smell the food. I think I will send them out to eat for the next 9 days so I can deal with this!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Had to get up this morning to start all of my Pre Op appts. Had to give up like 4 tubes of blood first. I felt kinda weak because I am not getting alot of calories in the diet. With the lack of carbs you just feel run down no matter how much protein you're eating. So I didn't eat because I knew I had blood work but then I got there and they were like "oh you didn't have to fast" grrrrr. Talked to the dietician about how starving I am, I notice it is mostly between 7 and 10 pm, she said I can add a cup of broth or a cup of steamed veggies without it being too bad. Will try to stick to the amount they said I can have but nice to know if I am starving I have an option. So, 6 days and a wake up until surgery. I am really not thinking about it b/c I get grossed out easy. If I don't think about it, I won't be scared. I was told to get some Gas X chewables because after surgery I may feel pressure so it will help to relieve it. I was giving this thingy ( I will post the name later) to practice deep breathing so after surgery I can use it to make sure that I don't get sick. I have to get there at 6a.m. on Wednesday morning and they moved my surgery up to 7:30a.m. So I am ready to go! You seriously do not realize how addicted to food you are until you cannot have anything that you love. Why do we even love food? Should we just be like the caveman and eat raw fruit, veggies and cooked meat without all the trimmings? I dunno but I really do miss the TEXTURE and FLAVOR of different things........and this is only the third day!! LOL Good luck to everyone else that have decided that this is your path.

Thursday, August 20, 2009
I woke up today not hungry at all. I mean it was a struggle to drink my shake for breakfast and so far I've had a cup of broth for lunch. I will eat some veggies and a shake in a little while just not feeling like it. I don't know if I really am not hungry or if I am depressed. Emotions are so hard to figure out when you have no energy. I am so glad that I have a few more days until surgery and I only cheated once on the first day by eating one slice of bread with a piece of baloney. After reading many blogs from the people who have come before me doing this, it made me feel better. One person said that if you couldn't do this little liquid diet, what was life going to be like after surgery? How were you going to handle it? Went to my dr's office today to get a prescription for a liquid med to replace my Metaformin pill. Her office is across the street from Whataburger and I looked at it and wanted a Whataburger so bad but it wasn't because I was hungry, it was because I missed the taste of it. I miss the texture of chewing a burger. It's really weird on day 4 to sit outside myself and realize one of the things that I never thought of, that's a reason I overeat. TEXTURE! Watching the food network which I am still not hungry watching it like I usually am and it's a re-run where they are in New Orleans and making all my fav cajun foods. I guess alot of people are right when they say that on the 4th or 5th day you aren't as hungry.

Saturday, August 22, 2009
Well forgot to blog about day five which had it's temptations but mostly I just stay home so I don't think about it. I have started retaining water now even though I am drinking 4 -20oz bottles of water a day. I have also been using the low sodium broth, I figure it's the pickles I have started eating. I figured it couldn't hurt to eat a pickle when I am allowed veggies because I am just craving something CRUNCHY right now but I see that the sodium is just killing me. So I will quit eating the pickles because I want to make sure I am good to go come Wednesday next week. Other than that the hunger pangs have gone away and it's been pretty uneventful yesterday and (so far) today. I'll keep you updated!

Saturday, August 22, 2009
Went to primary care doctor this morning. Trying to figure out where I will stand with diabetic meds with this diet and surgery coming up. Blood sugar went down to 83 for lunch today. I am not hungry but wanted to kill my husband when I left the doctor's office and got in the truck. He decided while I was in the office to go get Whataburgers for him and my nephew and my whole truck stunk of it. HELLO! I AM STARVING! REALLY? DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GREAT IDEA TO TAUNT THE HUNGRY WOMAN!???? I rolled down the windows and cried the whole way home. This is freaking hard and while I am not hungry for food it doesn't mean I don't want to eat it. I could have eaten four burgers today just because I want to chew something and to taste something other than broth and shakes. I am so moody and let me tell you, the first person who comes up to my face and says I took an "easy fix" to lose weight, will get throat chopped. Lord I cannot wait until Monday when the hubby goes to work and the nephew goes to school because after this summer I really need some ME time.

Sunday, August 23, 2009
I just want to chew something. Hamburger, chicken, whatever. I just want to chew it. I am not hungry I just miss chewing. I hate not chewing. I want to chew, quit telling me to get gum I want to chew food not gum. Finally quit retaining water, surgery can't come soon enough.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Spent yesterday and today getting everything in order. Didn't have much time to think about food but it's still there in the back of my mind. I tell you that I am scared of all the things I won't be able to eat anymore. Isn't that sad to be thinking like that? I think of pizza and hot wings and just anything that will not fit into the protein first rule. And of course how will my body tolerate seasoned foods afterwards? I am cajun, I love spices. Still trying to not think about tomorrow morning when I'll be sliced and deviced at the hospital. I've lost a total of 8 lbs, I hope that is enough for the doc and that my surgery has no complications. It hasn't been easy, I could have ordered a huge pizza and ate it all last night but instead I had green beans and beef broth....yummy....