See You Next Tuesday

     I went support two of my friends at family court yesterday in downtown Houston. They have been fostering to adopt a baby since she was born. Out of nowhere, this past few weeks, the caseworker has decided to petition to remove to place her in a DISTANT relations home who already has 2 handful of other children. Wow! We haven't had a placement in our own home yet but seeing this happy &%$# just trying to remove this wonderful child from these wonderful parents really pissed me off! The relation has never met the child, refused to take the child in when she was born last year, has never attempted to go to any of the court hearings, and has never asked for visitation with the child. Didn't even show up to let the judge meet her along with her petition for the child.
    My fostering friends had 40 family, friends, coworkers and pastor show up in support for them. We filled the six benches in the small courtroom. We want the courts to know that the child is loved by all and in a healthy environment and community. I had my own little crying jag in the bathroom before court b/c I was so afraid that they would not see how loved this child is and take her away from ALL of us.
    This caseworker, after being dressed down by the court for not filing ANY paperwork and also speculating b/c they  could not answer the judge's question, had the audacity to come back to the benches to get her stuff and then looked at all of us with a little smirk and says "Well, that's not the outcome I was hoping for today." Then tells one of the foster parents "Don't worry, I'll be re-filing to come back to court again in 30 days."
     Wow, she was a big "SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY" if you get my drift! How can you say that to people who love this child. They are in pain, they raised her from the day she left the hospital after she was born. They've done nothing wrong. Dream parents!   Is this what we have to look forward to? I know they try to reunite with family but seriously, a single woman with 8 foster children is the best they can find for this infant? I just cannot fathom it.

Licensed to Adopt- FINALLY!

   

    Well the title says it! We are finally licensed to adopt and it only took 11 months of inpatient, frustrating emails, phone calls and requested meetings with our previous caseworker. All of that went out of the window with the words "I just called to congratulate you and your husband. You are licensed to adopt!".  That happened 2 weeks ago.
     Now the really hard part begins. We met with our new caseworker and I stuttered my way through the meeting. This past week, we had 2 phone calls for children but they were not a match for us. I asked our caseworker, since she is new to us, if she had our personality/characteristic packet and she said yes she did. I asked why did she call with children that did not match us and she said that sometimes people will say yes because they change their mind. So, let me digress for a moment.
     If you should ever decide that you want to adopt an older child, and you go through the foster system be it through your state OR private agency, you will have to fill out an extensive packet about the type of child/children that you would accept. It lists everything from every possible mixed race to medical/psychological issues. Then, after you do that gut check, and decide with your spouse what you can REALLY handle and really CANNOT handle, you turn it in. Then during your homestudy, your caseworker will pull out a new one, and go through it with both of you again and asking you why or why not while also answering your questions on what some of the stuff means.  Trust me, there were things where we said "OMG I am such an asshole for not being able to take this type of child with this type of issue" but you are doing them no favor by saying yes with something you cannot deal with.
     So, yes, I really felt like an ASSHOLE for saying no to 3 children when all we want, is a child. As the Sheryl Crow song said "No one said this would be easy. But no one said it be this damn hard."  I pray for so many of us going through this process. Two couples, who are great friends of mine, are currently going through the foster part of their adoption. The court mandated visits with biological parents and the court dates are truly devastating to them. I cannot imagine. I could not be a foster parent. I get attached to fast.
    Well, that is all for today!
     

Blessings

Today, I just want to use my blog to ask God to watch over my former co-worker's (Joe) wife who just had surgery/treatment for her cancer. I haven's seen him in a long time, and I have never met his wife but they are on my mind today. She's a very young and brave woman and I pray that she heals and recovers fully.

Also, praying for my great-niece who isn't feeling well today. We love you and hope you get to feeling better soon.

Prayers for my step-daughter who has a new baby at home and I know she isn't getting a lot of rest but the reward of having a beautiful healthy son out weighs the lack of sleep.

Prayers for my friend "J's" new relationship. They deserve to be happy and have a stable an fruitful relationship.

Prayers for my husband, who works so hard and has been putting in so much hours this year in his new position.

Prayers for my friend "A", and I hope that she and her husband can adopt their beautiful son they have been raising for the past several months.

Prayers for my friend "J" that he can heal mentally and emotionally as well as physically from his surgery. I hope that his self confidence can start to be built and that he understands that he is worthy of friendships/relationships.

Prayers for my family and my friends that all of our aches and woes be healed and that we continue to enjoy our time together for a long time to come.

Prayers that this cold and fever that's been plaguing me this week will finally run it's course and let me get on with what I have to do this week. (God I know you must be testing me at THIS time!)

And lastly, prayers that our homestudy and interview for adoption goes well this coming week. If it's YOUR will for us to become parents together, then please make it as easy as possible for us to attain that dream.

AMEN!

Finally!

So we finally heard from our caseworker. Our homestudy is on June 29th. Can't wait, I've been praying for patience which I have been lacking. Cannot wait to meet our child/children and start our forever family so hopefully after we are licensed we don't have to wait long.

Going through the "process"

So, my husband and I have been married for about 7.5 yrs now and children have been something that we have discussed since our first date. My husband has a 25 yr old married daughter from his first marriage and we also have 2 grandkids, the oldest being 5. 

As the years have passed, all (5) of my brothers have started having their children, at one point within a year, 4 nieces and nephews were born. I have gone through the baby blues, and with my diabetes finally under control at the age of 36, I've decided that we will not try for our own child. 

Adoption is always something we talked about from the first year of our marriage and something that I have consistently looked into. Well, last year I looked at the Texas adoption website and I saw a pair of little girls that just stole my heart and I thought, at 36 and 46 yrs of age, would we really want to start from a baby?

The answer to that was probably not. Then my brother and his 3 kids came for a visit, 2 of them still babies and our answer became "ABSOLUTELY NOT!". Not because I don't love babies, because I absolutely do, but I know that I do not want to change diapers, wipe butts or give a kid a bath every night. 

When we decided that adoption was our option (haha I rhymed!), we said we'd possibly like to start from the age of 4. So we scheduled our orientation meeting with Dept of Family Protective Services and went listen to see what it is all about. That was in October 2011. We filled out a background check form and submitted it that week. In December of 2011, we received a call from DFPS stating that we had passed the initial background check and we were scheduled to go through P.R.I.D.E. training classes in April 2012. 

In the meantime, we received a 2 inch thick envelope of paperwork we had to fill out and what to expect in our class. The paperwork leaves no stone unturned in your life, everything from how much money you make, what you spend it on every month, marriage licenses, divorce decrees, references that have been in your home, family references, etc....just everything!

So you bring that to your first class and you get a lovely .....4 inch binder filled with paperwork you need to fill out!  Not to mention that we went through only 4 classes on Saturday's but they were from 9-5 and you filled out paperwork, watched videos, hear lectures and role play. There's a lot of ROLE PLAYING and everyone has to participate. There are a lot of breaking into groups and group discussions. If you are thinking that any of these classes talk about how great it will be to be a parent, well, you are wrong. 

The classes discuss realistic expectations of what life will be like with a child from foster care, because if they came from a perfect home, then they wouldn't be in foster care. All of this aside, because this was the path we chose and already knew what we would be dealing with, you are also expected to go to a lecture on Psychotropic Drugs and Medication Handling, HIV/AIDS & Communicable Disease Classes, CPR & 1st Aid (which you pay out of pocket for), FBI Fingerprint & Background Check (you have to pay for this too) and a Home Study and interview. This all must be done during the time you are attending classes so if you both work, one must take vacation to run around and get things done!

We are 7 months into this process and the longest part is waiting in between appointments. We are just waiting on our Home Study and Interview to get licensed and then we will be assigned a new caseworker to start matching us with a child. 

Now during all that process, you are given a form to decide what type of child you are willing to accept and by that I mean it was several pages that listed everything from race to characteristics to medical issues. Now, this is gut check time, where you have to be honest at what you can handle! You can't be embarrassed to say  (examples) "I cannot take care of a child in a wheelchair" or "no kids that have shown cruelty to animals" etc etc. 

We discussed what we wanted, they're things that I said I could not handle, they're things my husband said absolutely not and they're things that we both agreed would be too hard for the both of us. In the end, we both decided 6 or older, female, any race, 2 if they are siblings. The other things we decided on are our own private matter. 

We hope that we are given 2 sisters which would complete our family. It is something we discussed with each of our family's and my husband's daughter before we made the decision b/c we want to give our future child/children a family that is complete and accepting.

So, if it is something you are interested in, know that the process can be very discouraging, the wait is long but in the end we hope to be rewarded with a daughter/daughters to be forever in our family. 

Pouty Doggie

So, someone is being a bit pouty today and refusing to come out from under my comforter. I put baby powder on my doggie last night b/c she has been scratching her tummy after getting groomed this week.

1st Post of 2012

So I found my old blog page, cleaned it up because it used to be anonymous, and figured I'd go ahead and make my first post in over a year. 

Things that have happened in the last year:

~We've decided to adopt! I'll post more on that in a later blog but we are currently seven months into the process of getting licensed. 

~My husband was promoted to G.M. at work. He's traveled to several countries already this year. 

~ We found an amazing church that I actually look forward to going to every Sunday. 

~ Our grandson was born last week!

~My 2 lovely god daughters both turned 18 in the last few weeks and they both graduated high school! I am so proud of them!

 

~ I went on a Craigslist bender in Jan and Feb and bought 10 pieces of furniture that I sanded down and refinished to complete our two guest bedrooms. We are hoping that we can adopt siblings. 

~I've been witness to relationships ending and new ones beginning over the past several months.  I wish all parties the best in their new endeavours.  

~I've made many new decisions that I may or may not blog about but it makes me feel productive. 

~We took a lovely vacation to Panama City Beach, Florida last September and my husband invited my two best friends along to share it with us. What a wonderful man!

~One of my best friends is currently also going through the adoption process and I am praying that the outcome will be positive for her family and her new child. 

~I've made new friends and hope that even though Houston is a transitional place, I don't see them leave here just like everyone else we have made friends with. 

And that is my short update for this past year.