See You Next Tuesday

     I went support two of my friends at family court yesterday in downtown Houston. They have been fostering to adopt a baby since she was born. Out of nowhere, this past few weeks, the caseworker has decided to petition to remove to place her in a DISTANT relations home who already has 2 handful of other children. Wow! We haven't had a placement in our own home yet but seeing this happy &%$# just trying to remove this wonderful child from these wonderful parents really pissed me off! The relation has never met the child, refused to take the child in when she was born last year, has never attempted to go to any of the court hearings, and has never asked for visitation with the child. Didn't even show up to let the judge meet her along with her petition for the child.
    My fostering friends had 40 family, friends, coworkers and pastor show up in support for them. We filled the six benches in the small courtroom. We want the courts to know that the child is loved by all and in a healthy environment and community. I had my own little crying jag in the bathroom before court b/c I was so afraid that they would not see how loved this child is and take her away from ALL of us.
    This caseworker, after being dressed down by the court for not filing ANY paperwork and also speculating b/c they  could not answer the judge's question, had the audacity to come back to the benches to get her stuff and then looked at all of us with a little smirk and says "Well, that's not the outcome I was hoping for today." Then tells one of the foster parents "Don't worry, I'll be re-filing to come back to court again in 30 days."
     Wow, she was a big "SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY" if you get my drift! How can you say that to people who love this child. They are in pain, they raised her from the day she left the hospital after she was born. They've done nothing wrong. Dream parents!   Is this what we have to look forward to? I know they try to reunite with family but seriously, a single woman with 8 foster children is the best they can find for this infant? I just cannot fathom it.

Licensed to Adopt- FINALLY!

   

    Well the title says it! We are finally licensed to adopt and it only took 11 months of inpatient, frustrating emails, phone calls and requested meetings with our previous caseworker. All of that went out of the window with the words "I just called to congratulate you and your husband. You are licensed to adopt!".  That happened 2 weeks ago.
     Now the really hard part begins. We met with our new caseworker and I stuttered my way through the meeting. This past week, we had 2 phone calls for children but they were not a match for us. I asked our caseworker, since she is new to us, if she had our personality/characteristic packet and she said yes she did. I asked why did she call with children that did not match us and she said that sometimes people will say yes because they change their mind. So, let me digress for a moment.
     If you should ever decide that you want to adopt an older child, and you go through the foster system be it through your state OR private agency, you will have to fill out an extensive packet about the type of child/children that you would accept. It lists everything from every possible mixed race to medical/psychological issues. Then, after you do that gut check, and decide with your spouse what you can REALLY handle and really CANNOT handle, you turn it in. Then during your homestudy, your caseworker will pull out a new one, and go through it with both of you again and asking you why or why not while also answering your questions on what some of the stuff means.  Trust me, there were things where we said "OMG I am such an asshole for not being able to take this type of child with this type of issue" but you are doing them no favor by saying yes with something you cannot deal with.
     So, yes, I really felt like an ASSHOLE for saying no to 3 children when all we want, is a child. As the Sheryl Crow song said "No one said this would be easy. But no one said it be this damn hard."  I pray for so many of us going through this process. Two couples, who are great friends of mine, are currently going through the foster part of their adoption. The court mandated visits with biological parents and the court dates are truly devastating to them. I cannot imagine. I could not be a foster parent. I get attached to fast.
    Well, that is all for today!
     

Blessings

Today, I just want to use my blog to ask God to watch over my former co-worker's (Joe) wife who just had surgery/treatment for her cancer. I haven's seen him in a long time, and I have never met his wife but they are on my mind today. She's a very young and brave woman and I pray that she heals and recovers fully.

Also, praying for my great-niece who isn't feeling well today. We love you and hope you get to feeling better soon.

Prayers for my step-daughter who has a new baby at home and I know she isn't getting a lot of rest but the reward of having a beautiful healthy son out weighs the lack of sleep.

Prayers for my friend "J's" new relationship. They deserve to be happy and have a stable an fruitful relationship.

Prayers for my husband, who works so hard and has been putting in so much hours this year in his new position.

Prayers for my friend "A", and I hope that she and her husband can adopt their beautiful son they have been raising for the past several months.

Prayers for my friend "J" that he can heal mentally and emotionally as well as physically from his surgery. I hope that his self confidence can start to be built and that he understands that he is worthy of friendships/relationships.

Prayers for my family and my friends that all of our aches and woes be healed and that we continue to enjoy our time together for a long time to come.

Prayers that this cold and fever that's been plaguing me this week will finally run it's course and let me get on with what I have to do this week. (God I know you must be testing me at THIS time!)

And lastly, prayers that our homestudy and interview for adoption goes well this coming week. If it's YOUR will for us to become parents together, then please make it as easy as possible for us to attain that dream.

AMEN!

Finally!

So we finally heard from our caseworker. Our homestudy is on June 29th. Can't wait, I've been praying for patience which I have been lacking. Cannot wait to meet our child/children and start our forever family so hopefully after we are licensed we don't have to wait long.

Going through the "process"

So, my husband and I have been married for about 7.5 yrs now and children have been something that we have discussed since our first date. My husband has a 25 yr old married daughter from his first marriage and we also have 2 grandkids, the oldest being 5. 

As the years have passed, all (5) of my brothers have started having their children, at one point within a year, 4 nieces and nephews were born. I have gone through the baby blues, and with my diabetes finally under control at the age of 36, I've decided that we will not try for our own child. 

Adoption is always something we talked about from the first year of our marriage and something that I have consistently looked into. Well, last year I looked at the Texas adoption website and I saw a pair of little girls that just stole my heart and I thought, at 36 and 46 yrs of age, would we really want to start from a baby?

The answer to that was probably not. Then my brother and his 3 kids came for a visit, 2 of them still babies and our answer became "ABSOLUTELY NOT!". Not because I don't love babies, because I absolutely do, but I know that I do not want to change diapers, wipe butts or give a kid a bath every night. 

When we decided that adoption was our option (haha I rhymed!), we said we'd possibly like to start from the age of 4. So we scheduled our orientation meeting with Dept of Family Protective Services and went listen to see what it is all about. That was in October 2011. We filled out a background check form and submitted it that week. In December of 2011, we received a call from DFPS stating that we had passed the initial background check and we were scheduled to go through P.R.I.D.E. training classes in April 2012. 

In the meantime, we received a 2 inch thick envelope of paperwork we had to fill out and what to expect in our class. The paperwork leaves no stone unturned in your life, everything from how much money you make, what you spend it on every month, marriage licenses, divorce decrees, references that have been in your home, family references, etc....just everything!

So you bring that to your first class and you get a lovely .....4 inch binder filled with paperwork you need to fill out!  Not to mention that we went through only 4 classes on Saturday's but they were from 9-5 and you filled out paperwork, watched videos, hear lectures and role play. There's a lot of ROLE PLAYING and everyone has to participate. There are a lot of breaking into groups and group discussions. If you are thinking that any of these classes talk about how great it will be to be a parent, well, you are wrong. 

The classes discuss realistic expectations of what life will be like with a child from foster care, because if they came from a perfect home, then they wouldn't be in foster care. All of this aside, because this was the path we chose and already knew what we would be dealing with, you are also expected to go to a lecture on Psychotropic Drugs and Medication Handling, HIV/AIDS & Communicable Disease Classes, CPR & 1st Aid (which you pay out of pocket for), FBI Fingerprint & Background Check (you have to pay for this too) and a Home Study and interview. This all must be done during the time you are attending classes so if you both work, one must take vacation to run around and get things done!

We are 7 months into this process and the longest part is waiting in between appointments. We are just waiting on our Home Study and Interview to get licensed and then we will be assigned a new caseworker to start matching us with a child. 

Now during all that process, you are given a form to decide what type of child you are willing to accept and by that I mean it was several pages that listed everything from race to characteristics to medical issues. Now, this is gut check time, where you have to be honest at what you can handle! You can't be embarrassed to say  (examples) "I cannot take care of a child in a wheelchair" or "no kids that have shown cruelty to animals" etc etc. 

We discussed what we wanted, they're things that I said I could not handle, they're things my husband said absolutely not and they're things that we both agreed would be too hard for the both of us. In the end, we both decided 6 or older, female, any race, 2 if they are siblings. The other things we decided on are our own private matter. 

We hope that we are given 2 sisters which would complete our family. It is something we discussed with each of our family's and my husband's daughter before we made the decision b/c we want to give our future child/children a family that is complete and accepting.

So, if it is something you are interested in, know that the process can be very discouraging, the wait is long but in the end we hope to be rewarded with a daughter/daughters to be forever in our family. 

Pouty Doggie

So, someone is being a bit pouty today and refusing to come out from under my comforter. I put baby powder on my doggie last night b/c she has been scratching her tummy after getting groomed this week.

1st Post of 2012

So I found my old blog page, cleaned it up because it used to be anonymous, and figured I'd go ahead and make my first post in over a year. 

Things that have happened in the last year:

~We've decided to adopt! I'll post more on that in a later blog but we are currently seven months into the process of getting licensed. 

~My husband was promoted to G.M. at work. He's traveled to several countries already this year. 

~ We found an amazing church that I actually look forward to going to every Sunday. 

~ Our grandson was born last week!

~My 2 lovely god daughters both turned 18 in the last few weeks and they both graduated high school! I am so proud of them!

 

~ I went on a Craigslist bender in Jan and Feb and bought 10 pieces of furniture that I sanded down and refinished to complete our two guest bedrooms. We are hoping that we can adopt siblings. 

~I've been witness to relationships ending and new ones beginning over the past several months.  I wish all parties the best in their new endeavours.  

~I've made many new decisions that I may or may not blog about but it makes me feel productive. 

~We took a lovely vacation to Panama City Beach, Florida last September and my husband invited my two best friends along to share it with us. What a wonderful man!

~One of my best friends is currently also going through the adoption process and I am praying that the outcome will be positive for her family and her new child. 

~I've made new friends and hope that even though Houston is a transitional place, I don't see them leave here just like everyone else we have made friends with. 

And that is my short update for this past year.

 

Bon Temps!

I grew up in Southern Louisiana. I am what is considered a Cajun, which means that my ancestors were once Acadian's who were exiled from Canada. My dad's side of the family only spoke French, just like everyone's family who lived in our small town. When my dad started going to school, all the teachers spoke French too. Then, when my dad was 10, the schools decided that students could no longer speak French in schools. The problem was, they didn't know how to speak English. Their parents did not speak English either. Did this deter the schools from slowly integrating English into their studies while still teaching them in French until the crossover could be made? No. They beat any student who spoke French at school. French was "bad". So my dad and his younger brothers and sister learned the language, while their parents only learned a little bit over the next 40 years. My dad's grandparents never learned English, although the both of them were still living, until I turned 30.

I remember being a little girl and my dad would tell us something in French sometimes, then have to repeat himself in English. We never learned French because my father learned that it was "bad" and in turn, he did not want his children learning the "bad" language. As an adult, I feel such a tremendous loss of my heritage and knowing that it has taken only one generation to kill the Cajun French language. My dad is only 58. He and his friends still speak French to each other but their children can only stand there and nod when we hear a familiar word here and there.

I guess this was all just on my mind this morning as I was fixing myself a cup of coffee and pouring in some milk and Splenda. And I just thought "Grandmere' used to make me cafe' au lait when I was a little girl". She used to make me what you'd call "coffee milk". It's more milk than coffee, with a lot of sugar. And I used to be able to sit at the table with the grownups who were drinking their coffee and they'd converse in French. I really miss my grandparents and always wished I'd have learned French so that when I was older and visiting them early in the mornings, that they wouldn't have to struggle through English to converse with me.

Who writes this stuff?

I know many people write about their weight loss journey and about their food choices but I like writing about all sorts of things which eventually, if you think about it, really just leads back to what's going on and how it affects you and what you eat.

I'm sure I can go all Dr Seuss and say we eat when we are happy, and when we are sad. We eat when we are excited, and when we are mad. But................that's not what my blog is about today.

Today my blog is about unintelligible instructions or explanations that are given to us in written format as to explain what we need to do or what you can expect from something.

Confused yet? Yes well, example: Have you ever tried to do your own taxes and was like WTH are they talking about?

Well, today I tried to go through my dental handbook that is supposed to explain what's covered and what's not and the circumstances in which something that is normally covered, isn't and what might not normally be covered may be covered in "x" circumstance. Blah blah blah. And the services themselves? I didn't know what any word meant. I had to look up every word except "bitewing". I think the Dental Association and the IRS are in cohoots. I think I may go to H&R block and throw down my dental booklet and say "I need a routine cleaning and maybe a new filling, how much am I going to have to give?"

And while we are at it, I took a "comedic" defensive driving course the other day. It promised to be full of laughs, but lo and behold, they totally gypped me. I didn't laugh. The truth was, it was a class that sat you in a comedy club and gave you the standard state mandated info. There were no jokes told, there were no smiles cracked, only early 1990 videos that showed bad driving and bad clothes choices. Had I not been a teen/young adult during that time frame, maybe I would have laughed at the Koosh-ball-bang hairdo's but I could only cringe, remembering I have pictures that look just like that.




By the fourth hour I was fighting (as was the rest of the class) to stay awake. Six hours of hell that I could have done online, at home, in my PJ's while watching House of Payne.

Well folks, that is all for now. Don't get used to these long, drawn out paragraphs b/c I am normally short, sweet and to the point.

Lost Focus - Crazy Week and a Half

Last week there was so much craziness happening that I got off track with my running. I got a call early Wednesday morning that my dad was taken from work to an ER b/c they thought he may have had a stroke. He was sitting in a meeting when he said he started to feel super hot and then he suddenly just passed out. They brought him to the hospital where they did a CAT scan on him and a doctor said he saw something that made him think it might be a stroke. A neurologist was called in and did not suspect it was a stroke. He was kept overnight for observation then went to his own doctor who did a series of tests and confirmed that he is a diabetic (which I suspected b/c I also used to "flush" and once passed out at work before being diagnosed with diabetes). I called my husband who took off from work and we waited to see if we'd have to make a trip to La. or not.

After that happened last Wednesday, on Monday my dad's younger brother had a massive heart attack. He is doing fine now but with all of that going on, I did not do any running or going to the gym. I was glued to my phone trying to find out what was going on. Now it's Thursday and things have settled down so tomorrow, I start Week 2 again (I should be finishing up week 3!) and will continue it through the end of next week so that I can keep up with the running program.

Ab Solo.....Ow!

Ab Solo is a machine used for medicine ball crunches. I use it frequently at the gym. You hook your feet in and there is a kind of basketball-ish type of contraption in front of you. You put two medicine balls on the return at the bottom then you start your crunch. The ball is held out in front of your chest arms fully extended as you lean back. When you are fully back you extend your arms above your head, and come back up. Halfway up you throw the ball into the top part of the machine and then reach and grab the next ball from the bottom. This is a continuous exercise. Depending how I feel, I either do these 1 set of 10 at a time or 1 set of 25 reps at a time, until I get to 50 reps. I do this each time I go to the gym b/c this isn't your average crunch. You are really working many areas here.

WELL.... I used a heavier medicine ball on Saturday and now my forearms and biceps are hurting! I mean, I had to use the heating pad and take Advil yesterday b/c of muscle soreness. I know it's soreness but it still hurts! Glad I don't have to do these again until Friday this week. Just going to have to break out the exercise ball and do my regular crunches this week. But if you ever get the opportunity, try the MBC's out.

Day 3, Run 2

Today was my second run on the 10wks to 10k and I knocked 26 seconds off my mile. Yay! I am kinda hurting in the hip area but I know it's these darn extra pounds I am carrying that makes it hard to run like I want to. Drank a nice protein shake afterward. I can't eat raw fruits and veggies unless they are chopped up very fine or pureed so I threw in a half banana and a half cup of strawberries with a half cup of milk and Genisoy Protein powder. Knocked out my daily servings of fruit in one shot! I am feeling pretty good about this plan of building up my body for something. When I think "I am building my body up", it feels less stressful then thinking "I have to lose weight". My goal is to run 6.3 miles, not get into a size 4 or whatever. I want to feel the freedom of movement within me, again.

Day 1 of 10wks to 10k

I am not sure why I am even blogging. 103 followers and not one comment on my last 3 blogs! Anyway, I am starting 10wks to a 10k program. Figured I'd blog about my progress.

Day 1 - brought my 19 min mile (walk/jog) to a 17 min (walk/jog) mile. Thinking this may not be as easy as I thought it would be. I know the athlete I once was, is still in there somewhere but it will be a little bit harder to dig out from under all this fat. Don't worry, she was looking at the display on the treadmill and screaming in my head "MOVE IT FATTY! We are going too SLOW!" I am thinking if I still can't jog the whole mile after the end of next week I will repeat week 2 until I can jog it without stopping. Weeks 3 and on will be too hard if I can't jog a mile by then. Well I am off, lots of things to do today. Au revoir!

New Year, New Gym

My husband and I are both Army veterans and our local gym, which is owned by a veteran, offered a special for anyone who has served or is serving now. Six month free membership with all inclusive classes, tanning, one free trainer session per month. You don't need to fill out a contract, no membership fee, no monthly fee and no obligation at the end of 6 months. What a deal! We can go to any of their 3 local facilities. I am glad to have found this because my old gym membership ends at the end of February and I found them to be too expensive to renew my contract even though I do love their gym. Glad that my husband is on board too, b/c we both need to lose the poundage!

10 weeks to a 10k....I hope....

I have been lazy ass'ing it for awhile now. I've used winter as an excuse to STOP exercising and basically sit with my chips while watching the shows "Heavy", "Biggest Loser", and "I Used to Be Fat". Yeah, I cheer them on but in the meantime I have been steadily putting back on the pounds. I have actually gained 8 lbs in the last 3 months. That adds on the weight I already have to lose.

So I found a plan in my Fitness magazine that says that it can get anyone in any shape ready for a 10k in 10 weeks.

****Ok went get the magazine and it says half marathon...pfffttt!*****

Anywho, I am going to build up to a 10k (6.2 miles) in the next 10 weeks. Then after that I'll decide if I'll do another 10 weeks to build up to a half marathon. I'll follow my nifty chart of days a week to jog/run starting on Tuesday of next week. I'll try and let you guys know, with a minimum of curse words, just how it feels. I am also hoping that it helps the belly fat go away since every trainer tells me MORE CARDIO to get rid of the stomach fat. Well I am off to start making my playlist for next week. TOODLES!

American Idol "I Was Crying"

American Idol auditions tonight. Did you see it? O.M.G.! So normally I watch just to laugh at the crazy people because, you know, they didn't know you actually had to be able to sing to get on the show. Seriously, if you are thinking about going on the show, TAPE yourself and then LISTEN to it! I don't mean right away, I mean like GIVE it to a friend or coworker. And when you least expect it, they play it over the intercom at work or something. If you cringe and say "what the hell is that?" then you probably should not go on American Idol.

Anywho, there was a guy at the end with the most heart-wrenching story (because they are always the last audition of the day, notice that?) about his fiancee'. And I cried because it was so sad what happened to her but such a stand up thing for him to do by taking care of her and still loving her no matter what. And then if it didn't get sappy enough, THEY BROUGHT HER IN! OMG yes they did! Now tell me there wasn't a tear in your eye when you saw that?

So this season they gotta little bit crazy with Steven Tyler and a little bit of a pushover with J-Lo and well, dog, Randy is Randy. I might continue watching it even though I miss Simon but they still like to find that big ol' heartbreak story to hook you.

What does "Too Qualified" Mean?

My job search continues. Apparently, no one will hire me because I am "too qualified". Does that mean I smell bad? Because seriously, I am bringing experience with me so how can one be too qualified for a job? I am not asking for much, and I'll work for you FOREVER and really I am only wanting to work b/c I am tired of being stuck in a house so should I dumb down my experience?

.....And Then......

I got a letter from the HOA saying that I need to paint my shutters. Yeup, the hits just keep on rolling over here! Hey HOA, you seeing me waving to you out the window with the jacked up shutters? I am gesturing "You're number one", look it up.

On a side note, this weekend the hubby and I will be painting the shutters on front of our house and changing out our garbage disposal. I know he'd rather be lying in front of the TV after working 80 hours a week, but we are the dummies who thought owning our own home would be awesome.

For tonight, I decided that I don't feel like cooking, or cleaning so we are going eat somewhere tonight and hit up the theater. I love living in Houston where you can just walk out the door and be within 2 miles of everything!



****UPDATE**** the shutters didn't need to be painted, they needed to be wiped off. Stupid HOA~!

2011 - How Grand It Isn't (so far)

I started off 2011 with a lovely $170.00 speeding ticket, right on New Year's day. Nice. I also went on a job interview last Thursday. The manager was sneezing and coughing so I kept my hands and feet off of everything during the interview only to have her grasp my hand as I was leaving. I went straight to the nearest restroom and washed with lots of soap to no avail. I now have the flu. I started getting sick early Friday morning. And I didn't get the job. Tonight I saw water coming from under my kitchen sink. I took a peek and my garbage disposal has a huge crack down the front.



Lucky me. I am trying to keep positive but the little worm in the back of my brain keeps saying "Cursed, cursed, CURSED 2011 is!". God I wish I still drank.

Finger-tivley Numb

Wednesday I went to my doctor b/c I have been suffering with numbness in two of my fingers and part of my hand. She says I am suffering from neuropathy and that I have some type of pinched or damaged nerve. Going back again next week to hopefully be able to see a specialist about this.

But what really freaked me out is when I got to the doctor's office the entire front of the building had VULTURES sitting on top of it. It was early in the morning so my brain wasn't fully functioning yet or I would have taken a picture to post here.

Oh, and my thyroid levels are on the high end of normal and are elevated from my previous tests so my doctor is waiting for this batch of labs to come back and she will probably start me on a low dose of thyroid medication.

So those are my woes for this week. Stay tuned for more madness next week.