Well I got sick and then got out of the habit of working out, slacked off for two months and then wondered why my scale kept creeping up. Blood sugar went outta whack and the cholesterol slowly got higher and somehow, of my accord, I am back in a bad place. So, this week I have buckled down and started trying to get back in a routine. Jogging/walking, lifting weights, doing abdominal exercises. It's hurting but I have got to do something.
I was running (yes, RUNNING) on the treadmill today when I had a revelation that just hit me outta nowhere. I am going to be 40 in 5.5 yrs. I need to make my body healthy. I need to do it now. There is no more tomorrow if I can't do it today. It sucks. I feel like I have no support system. I live far away from my friends and family.I keep thinking "what the hell is wrong with me? why can I not do this? don't I deserve to do this for me? why do I resent me for making myself do the right thing? why doesn't it feel good to push my body, anymore? when will the real issues that are holding me back, present itself to me so I can just freaking GET OVER IT!?"
So that is my rant for today. Oh yeah, added oatmeal to my diet. Have never eaten it before and it is disgusting. I almost rather eat beets...........almost.